Ohana Reviews

Review- Rich Kids

Reviewer- kinalhariya
Book- Rich Kids
Author- ghodeypesawarx

Blurb:
Blurb is short yet effective. It lets us know the basic concept behind the story while keeping everything a secret. Blurb is well-written.

Moving towards the chapters,

Dreams do come true, but they are not always what we actually wanted. This seems to be the case for Riya.

Although she is rich, it seems Riya has slightly different tastes from her peers.

The guys are so different from each other. Nice character arc selected for them. Would love to know how they became friends.

These lines really felt spoken from his heart.: When I throw a party, all my friends come; when I open a bottle of wine, all girls want to be next to me; but when I land up in jail, you're the only one sweet enough to come help me.

Don't know if Riya should actually accept his proposal, not after what he did on the first date.

So much happened in the second chapter. We got to know more about Sameer and Arjun as well. They both got their screen space equally and the time Riya spent with them was well narrated.

Nisha went far with her plans, but I can understand what she might have been feeling.  It is hard to be rational after seeing such an article, especially if there is a lack of communication between the two.

Whoa! I can't believe Sameer was the one who got Riya out of the locked room. We can see there's both a good and arrogant side to him, from time to time.

Riya is digging her own grave by asking Sameer's help for Aliya, especially when she too has a crush on him. I am expecting a lot of drama in future.

Sameer's reaction really suited his character arc. This drama really seemed beneath his cold persona😂😂

Whoa! I didn't think this situation would take such a cute turn. The way Riya admired him for his hard work and his subtle change of behaviour was really wonderful.

Just when everything was turning right, this had to happen. Human nature is portrayed really well here. They all change their behaviours according to the money you/your family has.

The change in behaviour of club members must have been hard, but for someone from her close friends, it would have broken Riya's heart. I don't even know who to suspect for the hate mails. But I am sure I am going to receive a shock after finding out.

I knew I would be shocked. Amongst everybody else, it was her first friend. The one on whose trust she had joined the mansion.

Why do I have a feeling that Nisha wasn't speaking because of the influence of the videos? I feel it was just to avoid the awkwardness between her and Riya. (Or may be not...saw the author's note at the end🤦🏻)

One after the other everything is falling apart. I feel bad for Riya.

Aliya is crossing her limits. I didn't expect Sameer to be like this either. It didn't even happen gradually, the change in the behaviour of these two was so sudden and so extreme.

My eyes widened at the confusion of whose ring it was. A plot twist, interesting.

I expected Ranjan to have a crush on her. But I didn't think she would accept it too soon. Well, I am happy that she is with someone who didn't leave her at her worst.

*****

Character arcs are brilliant. Each and every character is distinguishable and memorable. They all got their separate screen spaces and their own time with the main lead.

Descriptions and detailing is next to none. Some work can be done on describing the surroundings, feelings and body language.

Writing style is different from other novels as this was more of a narration type of story. But it was interesting to read nonetheless.

Interesting concept. Some work can be done on the plot though. Each and every scene idea was interesting but they all had the potential to expand. They would have been much more impactful if they were explored a bit more.

Story flowed at a steady pace.

Grammar:

Punctuations are missing at many places. Quotation marks, commas, full stops; they all are very important, especially when there are long paragraphs and it gets hard to distinguish what is being said.

Typos in some places.
Of is written as )f
Exciting is written as exiting

(i) needs be capitalized in many places.

Presentation:

Some paragraphs are too long. They can be separated. I would also suggest changing a paragraph after a long dialogue ends.

Suggestion:

It would be better to give out Riya and her family's information through a scene or some dialogues instead of her just stating it at the start of the story.

(Just an idea) For that, you can use the business dinner her father had as the starting scene. Her parents can call her out to meet the guests, so it can show her name. And while conversing with each other the information of what Riya does and what her family does can be shown.

Last words,

Story was an enjoyable read. There were many interesting twists and cliffhangers. Characters and storyline are well thought of. Just some work is needed on presenting it.

Overall, I liked the story. It has great potential.

Thank you for choosing me. Keep writing!