Ohana Reviews

Review ❀ Airborne

Reviewer: @mmjayoh

Book: Airborne

Author: @courtneyrush756

Title and Cover: The title is nice–concise and catchy, clearly referencing an integral part to the story: an airborne disease. Additionally, the cover looks professional. I love the green cover art, and the white font pops nicely. Good work!

Blurb: The content of the blurb is quite nice; however, there are a few points where words repeat within sentences. For instance, in the first sentence, you write: In a world where a deadly virus has spread throughout the world... Perhaps rewrite this to avoid the word 'world' twice.

Also, in the next sentence, you have the phrase 'sets off' twice [one of which is misspelled] and then the word 'setting.' I would rephrase this sentence as well. Maybe try something like: Chloe sets off** on her own for answers, departing from Greenfield with the goal of making things right.

Other than this, I think the blurb is intriguing and concise.

Plot Overview: So far, I am enjoying the plot. It has all the feel of a traditional zombie apocalypse story, which many people are interested in–so you should have no trouble finding an audience. I would suggest finding a way to make your zombie story unique, however–you want to stand out!

I will say, the beginning felt a bit slow for me. Weirdly, the first chapter was probably my least favorite, which is unfortunate because it's one of the most important–and the others were so fun to read! I would suggest finding a more intriguing hook, just to make sure your readers stay invested in getting to the good parts.

I think that first chapter just threw me off a bit in general because I was looking for those characters mentioned in the blurb but they never came, and then I was confused why Levi was so calm about what they had found and I was just a bit lost. Maybe this could be worked into a more effective prologue? I hope Levi comes back into play and this will all tie back in and make more sense!

Pacing: In general, the pacing felt good. My one suggestion is to slow down on the more fast-paced, shocking scenes. For instance, in chapter two, where the dad comes stumbling out–it was such a shocking moment, I wished it was slowed down and better described. This way, readers could sit in that horror for a bit and it would be more effective.

Additionally, in chapter three, the first big action scene, I could have used some more description to slow that scene down a bit. For example, there was little description of the actual base, which made it difficult to picture in my head. I also would have loved a bit more description on what was actually attacking them, because that wasn't super clear to me.

Style and Flow: Your writing style is enjoyable to read. The story moves along nicely and I found myself really immersed in this apocalyptic world. My only real issues are in regard to formatting/story structure.

There were some inconsistencies in the way you began your chapters. The earlier ones included a name for the POV, but this disappeared after chapter two which was confusing. Also, the way you chose to label the timing of the first three chapters was a bit confusing. You jumped from thirteen years before present, to twenty-four hours later, back to three weeks before present. Because of this, I had forgotten what the present was and was thinking chapter three was before two until it was stated in the text. I would just maybe find an easier way to establish a time-frame. Maybe stick to years like was listed in chapter one?

However, once the story really began, and stayed in the present, it flowed really nicely and was easy and enjoyable to read.

Characters: Like I mentioned before, the first characters mentioned in chapter one kind of disappeared and I'm a bit confused what role they all play, but I'm assuming they come back in later!

Chloe, I really enjoy as the main character. I liked seeing her development from a child to the present day and watching as she sets out on her own for the first time. Additionally, I loved her introduction to Brody–I appreciate the subtle callback to Flynn Rider during her comparison. And I really like their dynamic already!

One last note, the Rabids, Bestials, and Rotters–I love the names of them, but I wish I had a bit more clarity on what they are. There's been mentions of their appearance being feral, but had I not read the blurb or known this was a zombie-like novel, I'm not sure I'd know they were somewhat human! Also, I don't understand the difference between them all yet.

This is probably coming, but I would suggest finding an organic way to differentiate between them, maybe through more vivid descriptions of them all.

Grammar/Spelling: There were a few typos I tried pointing out in inline comments along the way, but I really didn't notice much here. My only other suggestion would be to watch your use of semicolons, there are times when commas may make more sense. But overall, great work!

Final thoughts: I really enjoyed this story and think it has a lot of potential. For me, chapters four and five were the most enjoyable, mainly because I already love the dynamic between Brody and Chloe. I'm interested in seeing what happens with them and between them. (; Great writing and hope you keep going with this one!