Ohana Reviews

𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰: 𝐓𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐨𝐧: 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐌

𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐞𝐫: imogenogucci01
𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: Turning Crimson: Secrets of Thorn Manor.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫:TurningCrimsonSeries

Title: 10/10
I really love the title, I think it's a cool name for a series.

Cover: 4/10
The font is really hard to read and it doesn't do justice to the book itself, I hope you can change it

Description: 3/5
It could be better. It wouldn't make me read the book.

Grammer, spelling or vocabulary: 3/5
Nothing too dramatic to be said here, I think you should proofread your work or run it through a software that can do it for you. Some of your sentences were in the wrong tenses and I noticed some homophone errors but not too much that it distracts me from the story.

Pacing: 7/10
With the paranormal genre, especially on wattpad, it us either done really good or disturbingly bad but you managed to exist right in the middle. I found myself asking "where are you rushing to? ", there were so many details that could have been seamlessly woven into the story but it felt so rushed that they were suddenly happening at the end. I feel like you should have incorporated little details into the story that would make it more believable that Hazel and Lucas were siblings. They could have had the same eye colour, the same weird eye twitch, something that didn't make that part of the story feel like an after thought.

Plot: 9/10
Given that this is a popular troupe, your spin on it was beautiful, though there were some clichés here and there, I didn't roll my eyes too much.

Character development: 7/10
For some reason, the other characters had a bigger or more human like personality than Hazel and Lucas. These too characters seem too distant, and while Lucas' distant behavior can be understandable, I didn't get why I wasn't getting much from Hazel.

Writing style: 6/10
There wasn't anything special about it.

Tension: 10/10
You did well, I found myself saying "oh shit" a lot which is a good thing.

Reader engagement: 8/10
I felt disconnected to Hazel, there fore there isn't much reader engagement, however Caleb and Ophelia were stars, I have never wanted to smack anyone harder than I wanted to smack Ophelia.

𝐓𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐥: 𝟔𝟕/𝟏𝟎𝟎