Ohana Reviews

Review- The Four Aces

Reviewer- kinalhariya
Book- The four Aces
Author- disaster682

Blurb:

The sentence is a good starter, but the blurb definitely needs to have some more information. Anything about the main leads, or the goal of the story can be described in here.

Moving towards the chapters,

I am intrigued by the facts given in 'about the story' on the probability of getting cards. I have one suggestion: Ability of the rare joker card was really interesting, but it would have been more impactful if I knew how different and powerful it was to the other cards.

The energetic personality of Ace was fun to read, and it was entertaining to visualize it.

The offer letter was unique. I have never heard of anyone giving extra money(coins in this case) for other personal expenses apart from scholarship.

It was a short chapter. Whatever written was nice, but could have been more. Something hooking, something that would make me want to turn the page and read next chapter.

Why was Ace worried for travelling expenses? He was provided with that along with the offer letter in the first chapter.

His anxiety, and the ranting about what could go wrong was relatable and was well conveyed.

The boy's card seems to gather a lot of attention. I wonder what makes it different from others.

The man from cafe seems really nice.

The way Zoe's way of talking changed after seeing his mark, actually portrays the reality of life. Everyone behaves politely with the one who has power while looks down on others who don't.

I would be careful about getting along with Zoe if I was Ace.

Separate section of Aces, discrimination starts with school itself.

Again with the uniforms, I am quite confused because he was clearly given coins to cover all the expenses.

Their powers are interesting, but I feel they could be described more with some detailing, especially Ace's. This will help create a better visualization of his powers.

And hearing the same sentence' my family is pretty poor' too many times can get irritating. There are other words that could explain the same thing but won't give out a monotonous effect.

Caitlin's sudden change of attitude was shocking and I am intrigued to find out the reason behind it.

The way Ace stopped the attack was pretty cool.

The fight between Ace and Caitlin was so well described. And the humour included in it was fabulous as well.

Jessica's and Serenity's fight was awesome as well. I loved how calm and composed Jessica was.

******
Characterization is done nicely. There are a lot of things I am still curious about the characters, but they are still rememberable.

Ace's energetic nature didn't really come out after first chapter. But it is understandable since he is in a new place and so he might not be that comfortable. His personality traits has been conveyed really well through his actions.

Zoe and Catilin are intriguing. I have made many assumptions and guesses from their behaviour, but they are still a mystery to me. Great characterization here too.

I am also assuming that there would be more characters in the story as it progresses with different cards and powers. Looking forward to see that. The one's that are already there have made their marks perfectly in the small screen space they have received.

Writing style is good for the most part, but once in a while it gets a little jumbled up. I would really like to know how this world of cards work. The scenes are understandable, but the world is still unclear. We have been shown the powers of a few people, but I would like to know a generalized and overall idea about the way everything works. However, the book is at the introductory chapters, so if the author is planning to slowly give all these details through further chapters then it's all good.

Concept is unique. I have read about the stories about gaining specific powers and all, but the cards...this is something different. I haven't read any book like this. Gaining an ability according to the cards is an unique and interesting idea.

There are some minor plot holes, I have mentioned above. Please check them out. Story moves at a steady pace. The length of first chapter is considerably short compared to others. And it also has potential to show something more about Ace and his family. From the second chapter, the story flows smoothly.

Grammar:
Look out for punctuation errors, mainly missing full stops and overuse of commas.

Apart from that, there weren't any grammatical errors I could find.

Last words,

Story is interesting, but it can get more intriguing and captivating if presented well. The concept and the characters are amazing. I would love to see how the story progresses. For a first draft, I think the story is written pretty well. It does have a potential to improve, but that will happen automatically as you keep writing.