Ohana Reviews

Review ~ Legend of FIVE: Shadow in the Lake

author: blackwriter09

reviewer: kailucy

Title: 4/5

The title is decent. It gives an overall idea of the book and it has a nice ring to it.

Cover: 5/5

The cover is great! I love the style of it and your username placed on the top is a nice addition. The fonts complement each other well. Very nice!

Blurb: 4/5

I really like the blurb. It introduces the main characters and the plot very nicely. It also briefly mentions the stakes. The use of the question at the very end is a nice touch. Honestly, I kinda read it in the voice of one of those narrators for the early 2000's trailers.

Plot: 19/20

The plot was good. It was fast-paced and interesting. I had a lot of fun reading this story wondering where it would go and what would happen. I liked the subplots as well as they just added to the story. It was weaved wonderfully.

Characters: 15/15

The characters were so fun to read. I loved their interactions and how all of them were different. I really liked Malon even though she was only really in the first 2 or 3 chapters. (I read up to five) They all are unique and I can see a little development in Trevor not a lot at the moment but I can see some which is great.

Writing style: 18/20

Alright, so when I finally got to your request I noticed you asked to pay more attention to the descriptions. So honestly I didn't see much. I feel like since it's mostly from Trevor's pov (although in 3rd person) it makes sense with his character to not use as many descriptions but the times when things were described it was great. However, if you wanted to improve maybe take the time to use the five senses. (see, touch, hear, smell, taste) at times obviously, you can use a few of them but it could definitely bring more life to your descriptions and overall improve it.

Grammar/spelling/vocabulary: 19/20

I didn't notice any mistakes. And the vocabulary is good. Of course, it's never a bad idea to look over it cause I could've missed something.

Engagement: 10/10

It was super engaging and I read everything in one sitting. Of course, I ended up stopping at five although I wanted to read more. I definitely plan to continue when I can.

Overall: 94/100

Overall, you have a great story. The plot is excellent and fast-paced, and you have a good writing style. The characters are fun to read about.

I will add that maybe it would be a good idea to put the very first part of the first chapter (the parts in italics) in a different chapter. So that way it reads a little better. But other than that I think you have a wonderful book. 

So sorry for the wait. I hope this helps!