Ohana Reviews

Review- The Rose Chamber

Reviewer- kinalhariya
Book- The Rose Chamber
Author- BlueCirci1

Blurb:

Blurb is short yet amazing. It lets us know about the main lead and a slight indication of what is going to happen next. The second(last) paragraph was really fantastic. The lines gave off an awesome impact.

Moving towards the chapters,

Intriguing start. The idea about her doing something stealthily and probably something wrong comes off in an instant.

A different partner than usual may cause problems. Daniel is taunting her, but his actions scream otherwise.

First chapter was interesting, but the ending felt incomplete.

I thought Camilla was into girls. That was the reason stated in the first chapter, then how came Daniel took over the task?

The line- Familiar with denial, they all do, even I did. This made me really curious about her past. Eager to see what happened.

The style of showing the rose was great. It must be their unique style of work. And this made the title perfectly relatable.

The description of what happened and how he reacted was brilliant. And the chapter ended with a great cliffhanger.

It seems Jason really cares about her. Even when they were fighting, the care showed through really well.

Interesting nicknames, if I say so. I wonder who Eliza was referring to. Is she some other person or Eliza's past self? Well I will have to read further to get answers😁

It would usually be annoying, but Eliza seems different to have fun while watching Sasha's antics. The situation turned out to be more funny because of Eliza's thoughts and reaction.

Emilio seems scary as well as creepy. Looks like Eliza's mother was also involved in this in the past.

Jason getting on her nerves is my new favourite thing. It is hilarious.

I knew Daniel felt something for her based on his actions in the first chapter when he was taunting her. It feels good to read that my assumption came true.

Changing into a red sweatshirt was an awesome move😂😂. It was what they asked and what they would have never imagined at the same time.

Whoa! He knows something about her mother which no one else is aware about.

It would have been amazing to see his smug face fall. However, it was still interesting to see him look at her with no fear, even while he was at a gun point.

Awesome plot twist! Story is getting more mysterious.

Her panic, her anger about her mother returning is well portrayed. It connects well.

I am curious to find out what happened and how Damien knows about all this when no one else does.

The flashback was really well described. It showed us about her past and why she owed the debt to Emilio. Just one thing- she found one infant. Where was the other? Was she not able to find her sister? Or did she see her already dead?

The flashback answered many questions all the while making us curious about the new ones. Who was her mother talking to? Why did she do that to her own daughter? Where was she until now and why is she back?

Amazing mystery is created, keeping the readers on the edge throughout the story.

*****

Characterization is done nicely. We can imagine all the characters and their personalities. Eliza is shown as powerful yet there are many shortcomings when she deals with other guys. And that is relatable seeing they all are in this business while she is just paying off her debt.

World building is done nicely. The rose chamber, their work, their bond; everything is described at proper times. Descriptions and detailing are great. We can easily imagine the scenes and how they move.

Concept is interesting, but the way the plot moves has made the story much more awesome. The twists, the cliffhangers, the mystery; they all have been plotted well.

Writing style is good if we consider how the story moves. But it needs work if we are looking at presentation. Extra spaces and punctuation errors are causing a massive break in the otherwise smooth flowing story.

Grammar:
★Missing and misplaced commas. Look out for them as they can change the entire meaning of the sentence.

★Some sentences would look better as two different sentences instead of being joined by commas.

★Question marks are missing at a few places.

★Full stops or commas are not needed if the dialogue ends with a question mark.

★Some extra space is seen near quotation marks at some places, making it hard to distinguish the dialogues when they are written in long paragraphs.

★Minor typos at a few places.

Suggestion:
I would suggest combining the first two chapters as one. The first chapter has a great start, but the second chapter shows the relation with the title and also ends with a great hook that would encourage the readers to read further.

Last words:

Interesting story. The bonds, the emotions, the sarcastic remarks, the panic, the mystery, the twists; everything is shown brilliantly. I enjoyed reading it. Author needs to work on the punctuations and editing is needed for the story to look more presentable. With some polishing, the story would show its actual impact.

Thanks for choosing me. Keep writing!!