Ohana Reviews

Review- The Vanishing Girls of Willow Creek

Reviewer- kinalhariya
Book- The Vanishing Girls of Willow Creek
Author- AneesaBadu

Blurb:
Amazing blurb. It has drawn my attention and I am interested to find out the mysteries and how do they uncover it. Blurb is written well for the most part. It shows us what to expect from the story while still making us curious to find out what is going to happen. Just look out for fluctuations in tenses.

The ending sentence was well thought off. It created a right hook for the story.

Prologue,
Nice start. Detailing and descriptions are great. I can totally visualize the scene. We can see hints of  the main lead's personality from the prologue itself. Her monologues add to the depth of it.

The lines about trust and not thinking he would be the villain, has my head turning thinking about the possibilities of who that 'he' is. And not to forget about the amazing cliffhanger. Great way to hook the readers to the story.

A very well written prologue indeed.

Suggestion:

Thoughts can be shown in italics or single quotation marks to distinguish it from other descriptions.

Moving towards the story,

Love the quotes at the beginning of all chapters.

Amazing start. I loved the way sentences flowed at the start. It was smooth and intriguing. However, it put me off when it went totally off track to show the main lead's life.

The line- Enough background for now, was hilarious though. But then after one para, it turned out to be another background story.

I understand that it is necessary to show all of them for us to get acquainted with the main lead's life, but the details didn't match the vibe that the starting paragraphs had created. A little more curiosity about the cheerleader being missing or some discussion about it before the background starts would be great. (My point of view changed after second chapter, but I am not removing this part as this is what I felt while reading first chapter)

The way she spoke about the case, really matched with what she had described about herself in the previous paragraphs. Great work done here.

The professor sounded suspicious if we go by Jon's point of view. Looking forward to seeing what it turns out.

Chapter was nice. However, the prologue felt  more smooth and far better written than the first chapter.

Okayy, I am a little confused. Miranda seemed to be missing at the start of the first chapter. Then why was the panic created about that in the second chapter?

I would suggest cutting the part of Miranda from the first chapter. After making the hook, with the sentence- It all started with the first disappearance..... Make a scene break and then start with the main lead's background. So it would become less confusing.

It was weird that they started gossiping about Jackson's relationship status with Miranda, right after they were feeling bad for her parents. But I guess, that's human nature. Especially when the said person has made your life a living hell.

Jon really made Harley feel special with his speech. It was a cute moment.

Love the bond between both of them. It seems really precious. Also liked the small mention of her parents thinking of Jon as their future son in law and all that.

Harley's reaction to Kirsty was awesome. It was a solid burn. However, one thing struck me was that they were going for a movie when their friend had gone missing. Something seems fishy. Eager to see how it turns out.

I like how Jon takes care of Harley without making a show of it. The subtle ways are the cutest. His reaction after the peck on the cheek was hilarious. And his jealousy because of Damon clearly shows off his feelings.

The mystery letters are intriguing. Interested to see what the second letter contains. I have made a few guesses about who must be sending those letters. Eager to see if my assumptions come true or not.

The story behind how the place was named was nice.

The teachers(well not all of them) seem really suspicious, and so do the friends of Miranda.

Mr. Bruile is one epic guy. Caring about the floor when one of the students is bleeding from her mouth after getting punched😂😂. It was relatable as coaches do seem partial for their star players and ignore their other faults.

*****
Characterization is done brilliantly. Not only the main leads, but also the supporting characters are easy to imagine. Author has done a great work in making characters in such a way that we keep suspecting them, not knowing who might be the real culprit.

Emotions are greatly shown when it comes to Jon's and Harley's bond. However, it seems lacking when they are talking about the crime in Willow creek. Except for the two instances when Harley had a panic attack or when they spoke to her mom about her best friend, other instances seemed quite lacking and forced. It sticks out more because it has been told again and again that they love mysteries and are curious about the crimes and they love to try and solve it. But here it seems like a sub-plot that comes once in a while rather than a main one.

Plotline is interesting and intriguing. All the chapters were enjoyable to read. The story flows well, but it has the potential to flow more smoothly. I believe a little more depth can be added while talking about the disappearances of victims. Those conversations fell flat when they should have been the highlight of the story.

There was one minor plot hole in the story:

[In the first chapter it said Miranda's case was the first disappearance for Harley. However, the second chapter claimed it was yet another disappearance, with Miranda being the only one of the victims she knew.]

I have pointed out other confusions and suggestions above.

Story is unique. An intrigue factor is maintained throughout, keeping the readers on the edge the entire time.

Grammar

Tenses keep fluctuating from past tense to present tense.

A few sentences were oddly structured.
Eg; You sure you don't want to take me to take off my sweater?
→You sure you don't want me to take off my/your sweater?

Other than this, the story was grammatically well written.

Last words,

I had a great time reading this story. Romance and mystery were well combined. There were cute moments, there were suspicious moments, and there were also humorous moments. It was a total package. A few things need to be worked upon, but it was still an enjoyable read.

Thanks for choosing me. Keep writing!!