Ohana Reviews

Review ❀ Love at Dawn [Part Three]

Reviewer: @mmjayoh

Book: Love At Dawn

Author: @LiebeKlara

Plot Overview: [11-15] There was a lot happening in these next few chapters. It wasn't necessarily dull, but at times it seemed muddled. For instance, in chapter eleven and twelve there were a lot of little scenes jumbled together in an attempt to move time forward. In parts, this made the story feel like it was lacking direction–like there was no string threading the story together. Instead, we were just jumping from one point to the next.

For me, one of the main highlights was the argument between Edith and Andre. It was purposeful and impactful. And, I also appreciated the romantic elements in chapter fifteen. It was sweet to see the pair falling in sync and not only being physically affectionate but picking each other's minds as well. It was clear why the two would have formed such an intimate bond due to their shared interests and unique points of view on the world.

Additionally, I love that Edith finally pressed Andre on his past. While it didn't get her anywhere, it definitely piqued my interest, and felt very realistic for Edith to feel frustration about how little she really knows about him. I'm eager to see what he's truly hiding.

Pacing: In parts, the pacing felt a bit quick, in my opinion. I think in part because there was intention to jump forward in time, so there were many time skips. Time skips are fine, but it's almost easier to have a couple big ones than many small ones.

Also, in chapter thirteen, the romance seemed to escalate very quickly between Andre and Edith. There were only small glimpses offered to the readers, little acts to show they were giddy and in love, but I was missing some kind of more personal scene to show the depth of their romance (like the scene in chapter fifteen). I think something like this earlier on could help slow down that pacing and make their love for each other more believable.

Style and Flow: Again, because of the little time skips and many story breaks, it felt choppy in parts. But, it was still an easy read, and I flew right through this section of chapters.

Once more, I wanted to mention the banner images at the beginning of each chapter–they're stunning and perfectly capture the essence of your story.

Characters: At first, it felt like Edith had lost some of her spunk in these next few chapters. She became lovesick, and while understandable for a young girl to feel this way over a first love, I felt myself missing the old Edith.

Which is why when she did come back to her fiery self, it was that much more rewarding. I loved in chapter thirteen when she stood up to Andre about the arrest of her idol. It was a glimpse of her old self and was nice to see she was still in there.

I also appreciated the touches in thirteen to suggest Edith wasn't a natural born caretaker/nurse like Margot was. Edith swatting Andre's wound, or being a bit too rough, felt perfectly suited for her character, and it made me like her that much more.

As for Andre, he's respectable, but there is still an air of mystery around him and his past. I'm happy Edith pressed him on it, and I would love some more breadcrumbs planted about his past, so readers could start to try to piece it together.

Grammar/Spelling: These next few chapters were pretty clean. Again, my only notes are in regard to dialogue and punctuation, so I'd take a closer look at those things. For instance, in chapter thirteen you wrote: "The tenant and the landlord's daughter!" She teased him.

Here, 'she teased him' is used as a dialogue tag, so 'she' should be lowercase because the dialogue ended in punctuation.

Final thoughts: Overall, these next few chapters were entertaining. The writing was beautiful as usual and easy to read. The characters are still coming to life, and there were little moments that made me fall even more in love with Edith. She's strong and spunky–the perfect mix for a female lead. With a bit of tweaking, I think you could find a way to make these chapters blend together more smoothly, and it would be a perfect read! Keep it up! (: