Ohana Reviews

Review ❀ Blood of the Sin

Reviewer: @mmjayoh

Book: Blood of the Sin

Author: @AliKatMeow

Title and Cover: The title really captures that dark-fantasy vibe you are going for. Additionally, I'm obsessed with the cover. It fits the genre, and it looks sleek and professional.

Blurb: I love the opening line of the blurb. The entire thing is entertaining–humorous, showing off your unique writing style. However, there are parts that feel like too much information. For one, I'm not sure we need to know Sebastian has been a vampire for forty years. Also, I'm not sure I would include Asher falling in love with the vampire–reason being, after reading the first five chapters, this isn't apparent, so it's a bit of a spoiler.

One more small suggestion would be to change the word 'maniac' in the second section to 'maniacal.' Only because it feels more appropriate as an adjective within the context given.

Plot Overview: So far, I am finding the story to be intriguing. The first chapter did draw me in. Additionally, I appreciate how intricate of a world you have developed with the councils and certain laws. And I like the way you have tried to weave in this information naturally through dialogue.

While there have been a lot of good moments, there are a few elements of the plot that I'm a bit fuzzy on. For one, I'm still a bit confused why the hunters contacted Asher for this job. Perhaps there is more of a mystery there regarding his father?

Also, when Asher finally meets Sebastian, he doesn't recognize him. Do the hunters know what he looks like? And if so, why would they enlist someone who doesn't know his appearance to find him? Or at least offer a description, photo, or drawing? Another question: why did Asher have to go to a random pub for information–don't they know Sebastian works at a clinic? Why not start there?

However, overall, the plot kept my interest. And I'm interested in unraveling more of the mystery between what happened between Sebastian and the hunters, as there were hints about mayhem last year. And I'm interested in seeing how Asher and Sebastian end up staying in touch, as right now it seems Asher's decided to leave him behind.

Pacing: The pacing felt nice, if anything a bit slow, but I suspect that was due to an attempt to cover backstory. I expect it to pick up pace now that the world and premise has been established.

Style and Flow: I really enjoy your writing style. I think this is what's carrying me through and keeping my interest. The descriptions you include really immersed me into this dark fantastical world. And at times, you are able to incorporate a bit of humor. You have a distinct voice as a writer, and I love how clean and concise your writing has been. It's made for a quick and enjoyable read!

Characters: Asher's personality feels hard for me to pin down. In chapter one, he seemed like this badass adventurous type recounting all the adventures he'd been on. But then, when he heads to the pub he seems a bit foolish and weak with the way things turned out with the vampires. I do find myself wishing I understood his character a bit better. Is he mischievous, skittish, shy, or brave? Right now, it feels a bit mixed up.

Sebastian is a refreshing take on a vampire. He seems to have strong morals and a good head on his shoulders. It's interesting that he's a doctor and seems devoted to helping all types of people. I just wonder what happened to cause so many hunters to despise him? I understand they believe him to be the perpetrator of a horrible crime, but he seems otherwise so peaceful, you'd think they'd take a moment to investigate further.

Also, I wanted to mention Castor. He seems like such an interesting character being both wizard and vampire. I loved hearing about his backstory and his love life. I think he's my favorite right now, and I'm interested in his character arc.

Grammar/Spelling: I really didn't notice anything wrong in regard to this section. Your writing is super clean and it's clear you have a strong understanding of basic grammar. So, no worries here.

Final thoughts: Overall, I really enjoyed reading your story! I'm not usually super into vampire type stories, but the way you set up the mystery/murder element really enticed me. It's clear you've put a lot of thought into developing this world and I'm interested in seeing how it all plays out. Additionally, I'm really enjoying your writing style, so I'd be interested in reading other works by you. Great job, and I can see you gaining a devoted audience with this novel! (: