Star Trek Imagines (Reader-Inserts) Part One

Ent. Malcolm Reed - Emotional Trauma

You paced around your quarters, thoughts running through your mind at full speed. Ever since you heard the news that the Enterprise would be returning to Earth for repairs and an inspection, you were on edge, praying the one to inspect the ship wouldn't be your father. Today, however, your fears came true. Being one day out from Earth, the Enterprise received more information about the inspection and repairs—including who would be conducting them.

You pushed your hair off to one side as you took in a deep breath. "Maybe he won't even see me. Maybe it'll be okay," you said. You doubted that would be true, though. You couldn't hide from him on a ship so small.

With your mind racing, you checked the time. Malcolm's shift was over in a few minutes. The two of you were planning on having dinner with one another. You didn't know if you could go to the mess-hall feeling this way. Maybe you should just cancel. Tell him you're not feeling well.

You paced and thought—overthought, really—as you waited for the seconds to pass.

When his shift was finally over, you contacted him.

"Reed here," he said.

"Hey, Malcolm, um—"

"Y/N, I'm just on my way to the mess-hall."

You sat on your bed. "That's what I'm calling you about. I'm actually not feeling that great. Can we reschedule?"

Malcolm was silent a moment, then said, "What's wrong?"

"Just a headache. I think I overdid it today," you lied, leaning against your headboard.

"I can bring some food to you if you want," he offered.

Your heart wrenched. He was so kind. You hated lying to him, but you didn't want to burden him with your feelings. "I'm not all that hungry right now, actually. Thank you, though."

"If you're sure..."

"I am, I'm sorry. Maybe another day."

"Yeah, of course. Feel better, my love."

Tear sprung to your eyes and you let out a shaky breath once the communication was ended. You curled up, tears falling onto your mattress as your brain continued to overthink. You stayed like that for nearly half an hour before you drifted off to sleep.

You were woken by your door chime. You rubbed your eyes and sat up quickly. "Come in."

The door opened and Malcolm stepped in. He looked at you as if he were assessing your situation. "How are you feeling?"

You faked a smile. "Better. I just had a nap."

He frowned. "Did I wake you?"

"It's okay, I don't mind. How was your shift?"

Malcolm took a seat at your desk. "It was all right. I worked with Commander Tucker on recalibrating the torpedo launchers."

"That's good."

He squinted slightly. "Why are your eyes pink?"

"I don't know," you replied. "Maybe just dry."

"You were crying," he said after a moment. "Y/N, what's really going on? What's wrong?"

You shook your head. "It's nothing, really. Don't worry about it. Just a long day."

"I know you're lying," he said. "We've been together for long enough that I can tell you're lying. Talk to me."

You bit your lip. "I don't... I don't want to bother you."

"Y/N, you never bother me," he said. He stood and sat next to you. "Tell me what's upsetting you."

You shrugged.

Malcolm sighed and took your hands in his. "Y/N, I love you. Whatever it is, we can figure it out, all right?"

You met his gaze and saw the love and affection he had for you. You saw his worry and concern. So, you told him. Everything. Everything that happened between you and your parents in the past. All the emotional trauma, the emotional abuse, the neglect. All of it. You spoke for what felt like forever, but Malcolm never interrupted you. He never once cut you off. He sat there, holding your hands, silently taking in everything you were telling him.

When you were done, tears were rolling down your face and your breathing was shallower than it was before.

"Oh, Y/N." Malcolm's mouth was pulled down in a tight frown. In his eyes, you could see anger. Not towards you, but because of what you had went through.

You sniffed and took in a ragged breath. "I'm sorry."

"My love, you have nothing to apologize for." He pulled you in for a hug and rubbed your back. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

"I'm sorry if I'm ever too needy, or too emotional for you," you mumbled, tears dampening Malcolm's shirt.

"I told you: you have nothing to apologize for. Don't be sorry for being who you are. Don't be sorry for your past, either. As crappy as it was, it made you who you are today. And who you are is a strong, resilient, compassionate person with a huge heart, and I am forever grateful you let me into your life."

You sniffed and pulled back so you could look at him. "You mean it?"

"Of course I do," Malcolm said softly. He reached up and wiped tears off your cheeks. "I love you, Y/N. And tomorrow, if you ever need a break or need to escape from your father, call me and I'll help you. I can even talk to Captain Archer and see if you can have some of the day off."

You smiled slightly. "Thank you. I love you, too."

He kissed your forehead gently and held you were feeling safe and content in his arms.