Star Trek Imagines (Reader-Inserts) Part One

TNG. Deanna Troi - Feeling Down

Warnings: Anxiety, depression, and possible eating disorder (though nothing is very detailed)

When the chime to your quarters rang, you knew it was Deanna before she even stepped in. You'd been feeling so down lately that you were certain she could sense your negative feelings from halfway across the ship. "Come in," you said after a moment.

She stepped inside and gave you a smile. "Hello Y/N. How are you doing?"

You shrugged from the couch. "You tell me."

Deanna sat beside you. "Well, I sense that you're feeling quite anxious and sad. From what, I don't know."

"Just a hard week, I guess."

"I haven't seen you in Ten Forward for a few days," she said, subtly looking you up and down. She knew you had a history of skipping meals when you were feeling so low.

"I've been eating in my quarters mostly," you told her truthfully.

She nodded. "Y/N, tell me the truth, have you been taking care of yourself?"

You frowned. "Are you here as my counsellor or..."

Deanna raised her eyebrow slightly. "What would you like me to be here as?"

You thought that over, not entirely sure what you wanted. "I don't want to be counselled," you said after a few moments.

She nodded. "I understand. Then I will be here as someone who loves you and wants to make sure you're okay."

With a soft smile, you said, "Thanks, Deanna. I've been okay on myself. I haven't relapsed."

Deanna smiled softly. "I'm glad to hear that, and I'm proud of you for staying strong."

You nodded slightly.

She reached over and held your hand. "Why was this week so hard?"

You shrugged, looking down at your hands. "I've just been feeling really stressed about everything. I've been so anxious about getting everything perfect, like my reports and stuff. I don't know." You sighed and shook your head. "It's like I need to get everything just right. And if I don't then I feel like such a failure."

"You aren't a failure, Y/N. Far from it."

"I just can't help but feel like my superiors think I'm not good enough. Like I don't belong on the Enterprise. Hell, why should I even be here when there's so many other officers who deserve it more than I do?"

"You belong as much as every other member of the crew," Deanna said gently. "You earned your spot here, Y/N. You deserve to be here because you work hard, are passionate about your work, and believe in good work and moral ethics. You're a wonderful asset to the crew. I hear that you do amazing work and your superiors are all very pleased with you."

You met her gaze. "But what if I mess up? What if we're in the middle of a crisis and my anxiety takes over? Or one day I wake up and just can't find the energy to go to my shift?"

"If that happens, know that everyone on board is here for you and wants to help you." She gave your hand a squeeze. "Can I make a suggestion?"

You nodded.

"I think you should talk to Beverly about adjusting your medications. You deserve to feel happy and at peace. You shouldn't have to suffer."

You bit your lip. "I'll talk to her about it."

"Good." Deanna smiled. "Now, what do you say we go to Ten Forward and get some chocolate sundaes?"

You smiled genuinely. "I should have guessed that you would suggest that."

"Yes, you probably should have," she said as she stood. "And if that doesn't make you feel better, we can come back here and spend the evening talking about whatever you want."

You stood and wrapped your arms around Deanna's neck. She was quick to hug you back. She gently rubbed her hand up and down your back.

"Thank you for checking on me," you mumbled.

"Of course. I'm glad to know you're okay."

"I love you."

"I love you, too. Now come on, there's chocolate sundaes with our names on them."