Science and faith

~Chapter 69~

Danny's pov:

I woke up in the middle of the night because I had to go to the toilet, so I threw the covers back ant got out of bed to the bathroom. Once I was done I came out again and crawled in next to Am again, reaching out to take her in my arms. But when I stretched my arms to find her, I couldn't find her anywhere. I sat up and opened my eyes to see that the bed next to me was empty. Confused, I turned the light on the beside table on to see where she was. I didn't see her anywhere in the room and she couldn't be in the bathroom either cause that's where I just came from. 

But before I could panic, I saw a light on the balcony. I got out of bed once again and opened the door to the balcony, letting the cool midnight air hit my only boxer covered body. As soon as I stepped out on the balcony I saw Am sitting there.

"What are you doing?" I asked, sitting down next to her.

"I couldn't sleep." She replied shrugging, tearing her gaze away from the stars to look at me instead. I shuffled closer to her and wrapped my arm around her waist, looking up to the sky as well. We sat in comfortable silence, watching the stars while listening to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. 

"I'm scared." Am said suddenly after a few minutes, breaking our silence.

"What are you scared of?" I asked, looking at Am who was still looking at the stars.

"That I won't be a good mum, that I won't be able to handle it myself when you're on tour, that I'm not ready." She confessed, looking down at her hands this time.

"Amy." I said, putting my finger underneath her chin, forcing her to look at me.

"You'll be an amazing mum, you're amazing with kids. I have no idea why you'd think you wouldn't able to handle things or that you're not ready. I know that you're ready and that you'll make an amazing mum." I said softly, looking her deeply in her eyes.

"Aren't you scared?" She asked in reply.

"Maybe a tiny little bit, but I think that we're gonna be okay." I said with a small smile and kissed her on her temple.

"What are you scared of then?" She asked again, not dropping this.

"That I'll miss things because I'm on tour or something. That I'll miss things like the first steps or the first words." I confessed as well. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me closer to them.

"You won't miss anything, cause if you aren't there I'll FaceTime you immediately. And if you're there you won't miss it either." She said reassuring me. 

"I love you." I said kissing the top of her head.

"I love you too." She replied, pressing a kiss against my bare shoulder. We stayed silent for a few moments until Am stood up and said,

"Wait a second." And with that she disappeared inside. Seconds later she came back with the duvet from our bed in her arms.

"You were getting cold." She nodded to my body, which was covered in goosebumps and the hairs on my arms and legs were standing up.

"Not the best idea you know, getting outside in only your boxers when it's almost winter." She said chuckling while covering us with the duvet.

"Nope." I said grinning slightly. I pulled the duvet up to my shoulders and cuddled Am closer to me.

"We probably looked so cliché a few moments ago, when we were confessing our fears to each other while saying that everything is gonna be okay." She said laughing. I laughed as well when I realized that it was indeed pretty cliché.

"But I'm happy I told you though." She said turning serious again.

"I'm glad you told me as well." I said resting my head on top of hers while she rested her head on my shoulder.

"How long have you been sitting here?" I asked after while.

"Before you came you mean?" She asked, lifting her head slightly to look at me.

"Yeah." I said nodding.

"A while. I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to wake you by moving around and fidgeting the whole time." She replied.

"You could've woken me, you know?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to wake you for stupid thinks like this. You need your sleep as well." She replied, playing with the hairs on my chest.

"But couldn't you sleep because you were worrying?" I asked again.

"Mwa, I started worrying a bit when I was sitting our here. But then you came and took it all away." She replied with a small smile. 

"Well I'm glad I came then." I replied.

"Yeah, me too." She said resting her head on my shoulder again.

"Let's go back inside." I said when we sat in another moment of silence and I started to shiver slightly again.

"But I'm not tired." I replied, looking up at the sky again.

"Then we'll do something else but sleeping, but I'm getting cold again." I said standing up.

"Okay." She said standing up and followed me inside, while I had the duvet still wrapped around me. I put the duvet back on the bed while Am went to the bathroom. A few moments later she came out again and said,

"I made you a warm bath to warm up again."

"You're so sweet." I said smiling and walked to the bathroom. I took my boxers off and stepped into the warm water while Am took her sweatpants and sweater off that she'd put on before she went outside. Once Am had taken all her clothes off as well she joined me and came to sit in between my legs. She ran her fingers up and down my legs while I rested my hands flat on her stomach. There wasn't really a bump yet but I didn't care. Just the thought that our baby is in there while I had my hands on her stomach was enough for now.

"Do you want more kids?" I asked after a few minutes.

"Yeah, I think I'd like two kids." She said after thinking about it for a few moments.

"You?" She asked.

"Yeah, I want more than one. But I don't care if it's two or twelve." I replied.

"Twelve!?" Am replied laughing.

"Maybe you should get some more women pregnant then, cause I'm not gonna give you twelve children." She said laughing.

"Oh yeah, about that, I have to tell you something..." I said teasing her.

"How many did you already get pregnant then?" She said playing along.

"Three, including you four. And secretly I already have four children." I said trying to sound serious.

"Well that makes eight, you still have four to go then. I said I think I want two, that makes nine so you only need three other women." Am said laughing.

"Shouldn't be that hard."

"No, I bet there are tons of women who want to have your babies." Am said chuckling.

"Yet there's only one who gets them." I whispered in her ear, kissing the skin behind her ear. I saw Am smile which made me smile as well before I put my hands on her shoulders and started to massage them.

"This never gets old." Am said with her eyes closed while I was massaging her. Half an hour later I realized that Am had fallen asleep so I took her out of the bath and dried her carefully before taking her to bed again. I walked back to the bathroom where I quickly dried myself before joining Am in bed. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer to me. I snuggled into her and closed my eyes, letting sleep take over.