Science and faith

~Chapter 102~

Amy's pov:

Liz is now almost three months old, but Dan's mum still hadn't seen her so we flew over to Dublin this morning so Ailish could hold her for the first time. Dan's sisters had come over as well, wanting to see Liz as well.

We'd just had dinner and after I'd helped Ailish clearing the table Dan told me that he was going to visit his dad.

"Do you want me to come with you?" I asked, knowing how emotional he can get when he visits his dad.

"No, you just stay here." He replied, kissing the top of my head.

"Are you sure?" I asked again.

"Yes, I'll be fine, don't worry." He said flashing me a smile before he disappeared to get his coat. A few seconds latere I heard the front door open and shut.

I made my way upstairs and made a bath for Liz. Once the small tub was filled, I undressed her and put her in, holding onto her with one hand while I washed her with the other. When I pulled her out again I dressed her in her pyjamas and went to the room where Liz's cot was standing. I sat down on a chair and fed her before I lay her down in her cot. She stayed awake for a little longer than she normally would, probably because she's not at home in her own cot, but eventually, she fell asleep.

When I came back downstairs I found Ava sitting on Andi's lap who was reading out of Ava's favorite book, Peppa Pig. Ava was leaning against Andi's shoulder while holding her bunny in one hand and sucking on her thumb.

"Tea?" Ailish asked when she saw me coming into the living room.

"Yeah, thanks." I replied taking the mug from her. I sat down on the couch as well while I chatted with Ailish, Mandy and Vicky.

Once it was time to bring Ava to bed, I had a hard time trying to get her from Andi's lap because she was enjoying herself too much to cooperate. Finally, right before I started to lose my patience, she gave in and after giving everybody a hug she climbed up the stairs with me following behind.

After I had brushed her teeth I helped her change into her pyjamas and took her to Ailish's bedroom. Ailish had offered to let Ava sleep on the other side on her bed, and even though Dan and I told her that Liz could easily sleep in our room so Ava could take the other, Ailish insisted on letting Ava sleep with her. And once Ava heard that she could sleep with her grandma she got so excited, so we couldn't say 'no'.

I threw the covers back while Ava climbed in and once she lay down I tucked her in. When she lay comfortable I told her a bedtime story like I always do. Dan always sings to her. Once I finished the story I leaned down and kissed her softly on her head before I stood up from the bed.

"Mummy?" Ava asked before I could leave the room.

"Yes sweetheart?" I asked, looking at my daughter who suddenly looked incredibly small, alone in a double bed.

"Will daddy come and give me a kiss as well?"

"I'm sure he will when he gets back, but you'll probably be asleep by then."

"Will you tell him to come and give me a kiss when he gets back?"

"Of course."

"Okay." She said, satisfied with my answer. I blew her a kiss before I turned the light off and left the room, closing the door behind me.

I went back downstairs where I sat down on the couch once again. We watched tv while Dan's sisters left one by one. I sat with Ailish for a little longer until I felt my eyes grow heavy so I decided to go to bed as well.

"Good night." She said smiling at me.

"Good night." I replied before I made my way upstairs.

Dan still wasn't back so I was lying on my own in bed, which was a little bit weird, but I was too tired to really think about it cause soon I was asleep.

--

I woke up when I heard the door of the bedroom carefully being opened before shut a few seconds later. I heard Dan's footsteps walk around the bed to the other side before I felt the mattress dip slightly when he got into bed. I turned my head and saw that it was a little after 1AM. He leaned over to me and pressed a soft kiss against my forehead, probably thinking I was asleep before he lay down. He was lying with his back to me so I shifted over to him and buried my face into his bare back. After a few moments I realized that he was shaking slightly.

"Danny?" I asked, propping myself up on my elbow. He rolled into his back while quiet sobs escaped him.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked. I leaned over him and turned the light on his bedside table on. I could see tears streaming down his face in the semi darkness. I felt my own heart break just by seeing him like this. I sat up a little bit, my head against the headboard while I pulled Dan into me, his head against my chest.

"He should be here." He choked out, trying his best to suppress his sobs.

"Who?" I asked not really knowing what he meant.

"My dad." He whispered and I immediately felt stupid that I didn't think of that.

"He never got to see me getting success with the band, he never got to see me marry the woman of my dreams, he'll never get so see our children..." He continued. I rubbed my hand soothingly over his back while the other held his head close to my chest, not really knowing what to say because there wasn't much to say.

"It's just so unfair."

I stayed silent, knowing that I couldn't calm him down with words, and sometimes actions speak louder than words, right? So I just held him close to me while I felt how his tears ran down my cleavage. I stroked the back of his head with one hand while the other was still rubbing his back. I pressed soft kisses against the top of his head while he was trying to get his breath back.

Once he'd calmed down, I cupped his face in my hands and wiped his tears away with my thumbs before I kissed him softly on his lips. He gave me a faint smile before he sighed deeply and put his head on my chest again.

"Did you talk to him?" I asked him, knowing that that was the reason he was so emotional. I felt him nod before he said,

"I told him that we'd gotten our second daughter and how fast Ava is growing, and that's when I thought of all the things I'd done with him and all the things he'd taught me and I wanted him to do the same with my children, but then I realized that that will never happen..."

I wrapped my arms even tighter around him while he told me about everything he'd done with his dad, and all the things he'd just told his dad until he stayed silent. We sat in silence for a while, our breathing the only sound until Danny spoke up,

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"And I'm thankful that I have you in my life. And that you're always willing to listen to me, whether I'm crying my heart out or overexcited, you're always there for me." He said and fiddled with the wedding ring on my finger.

"Always." I said, entwining my fingers with his'.