Science and faith

~Chapter 136~

Amy's pov:

Danny and I were sitting opposite each other at the kitchen table. Danny had just shamefully admitted what happened while he and the lads were in America and was now waiting for my response.

I looked him in his pleading eyes processing what he just told me.

"Do you think you two would have had sex if Mark wouldn't have came?" I asked, trying to stop my voice from breaking with emotion.

"I-I... I don't know..." He stammered, looking for the right words.

"Of course you know. Yes or no, Danny?"

"I think yes." He whispered looking down at his hands which were lying at the table.

When I didn't say anything he looked up at me again, his eyes meeting mine once again. The hurt and regret was clear in them, but at that moment I only felt my own pain.

"You said you'd fight for us. And that you loved me."

"I wil fight for us and I love you with all my heart." He replied, trying to reach out for my hand but I pulled away.

"That's a pretty fucked up way of showing me you love me and that you'll fight for us." I said watching the hurt in his eyes as I said those words.

He didn't say anything in reply, just swallowed hard. We sat in silence for several minutes until he eventually broke it.

"Please say something." He said pleadingly.

I took a deep breath before saying the words I wished I'd never have to say,

"I think we should spend some time apart."

"W-what? Amy, please no..." He begged his voice cracking with emotion.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, biting back my own tears.

"Amy..." He said, reaching out for my hand once more as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"Please don't." I said and took my hand away before standing up.

"I think it's best if you pack some things." I said wiping my own eyes dry.

He looked at me for a few seconds longer before nodding his head and standing up. He walked past me before going upstairs.

I pressed my hand against my chest, wishing I could take this pain I was feeling away. Even though I knew there was nothing that could help right now.

I was standing in the kitchen staring out of the window when I heard Danny walking into the kitchen. I turned around and found him standing with a full weekend bag in his hand and his backpack hanging on one shoulder.

"Don't give up on us just yet." He whispered as he pulled me into a brief hug. I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent while I felt him place a tender kiss on the top of my head before he pulled away.

I watched him as he pulled his leather jacket on before grabbing his bags and walking out the front door, getting into the cab that was waiting.

I closed the door as he drove off and sat down on the floor with my back against the door. I felt fresh tears welling up in my eyes and before I knew it I was crying my heart out.

I sat there for at least an hour until I received a text from Jess saying she'd bring the girls back in half an hour. Dan had dropped them off at Jess this morning saying we needed some time to talk.

I dragged myself to my feet and made my way to the bathroom where I splashed some cold water onto my face. I had to pull myself together for when the girls come home. Liz may still be too young to notice what's going on, but Ava will definitely notice something is up if I'd be walking around with red puffy eyes the whole time.

As I grabbed my hairbrush out of the cabinet I noticed one of Danny's aftershaves, and before I could think twice I had it already in my hands smelling it. Which made matters only worse, causing me to miss him even more.

I bit hard on my bottom lip trying not to cry until I tasted my own blood in my mouth. I put it back and gave my hair a quick brush before quickly leaving the bathroom again.

Danny's pov:

I had eaten at Mark's and was now getting ready to go back to the hotel I was staying at.

"Just give her some space, she needs to think." Rina said before pressing a kiss on my cheek.

"Give it some time, you two belong together." Mark said trying to reassure me and hugged me before I walked out.

As I entered my hotel room I took my jacket off and hang it over the back of the black leather couch before throwing myself on it.

I wish I would've just kept it in my pants. None of this would've happened if I hadn't been so fucking stupid. I wouldn't be in this hotel, I wouldn't have to miss my daughters. I would probably just cuddle on the couch with Am cause I wouldn't have hurt her like I did.

I don't know for how long I lay there, nor did I care but I decided to get up to have a shower.

I walked out of the bathroom fifteen minutes later with a towel wrapped around my waist and grabbed my phone from the coffee table. I had heard it ringing while I was in the shower but I didn't care enough to get out and pick up.

But now I wish I did cause I noticed I had a missed call from Am. She didn't leave a voicemail but left a text instead. I felt my heart skip a beat hoping she'd ask me to come back, even though I knew deep down that wouldn't be the case. Especially not when I only left this morning.

'Ava keeps asking about you, can she sleep with you tonight?'

Was all it said, no kiss at the end, no nothing.

'Of course, shall I pick her up? X'

I sent back before getting myself dressed. When I checked my phone again I saw that Am had agreed so I quickly made my way out of the hotel onto the street where I hailed a cab.

Once I arrived home I asked him to wait a few moments before getting out. As I walked up to the front door it opened already, revealing Ava with her small backpack on her bag.

"Daddy!" She squealed before jumping into my arms.

"Hey baby." I said and kissed her cheek.

As I looked up I saw Am standing in the door frame watching us.

"I'll drop her off again tomorrow." I said and Am nodded in reply. She walked up to us and kissed Ava goodnight. She then surprised me by kissing me briefly on my cheek as well but then realized she did it because she didn't want Ava to notice something was wrong.

Once I'd helped Ava having a shower I dressed her into her PJs and brushed her teeth. I lifted her into my arms and carried her to the big king size bed. I threw the covers back before laying her down. I tucked her in while she got comfortable. I sat with her for a little while until she was almost asleep so I stood up from the bed and walked out of the glass door onto the balcony.

Around half an hour later I heard Ava's voice behind me,

"I can't sleep daddy."

I turned around to her and kneeled down while she walked towards me.

"Shall we try together then?" I asked carrying her back inside. She nodded in reply before I lay her down once again. I walked around the bed and kicked my shoes off before laying down on top of the duvet next to her. I opened my arms for her and she lay down with her head on my upper arm. I ran my free hand slowly up and down her small back until she eventually dropped off to sleep.