Typical South Park One Shots and Readers ATTENTIONClosed for Requests

O.S Muff Cabbage(Jersey thing)

jersey thing one shot  only read if you watched the episode it's a jersey thing. Song is Gives you hell by all american rejects. Pic of the Jersey thing at the side. Wrote this for fun like most of my one shots hope you like it!

AFD

Today was really pissing me off! We gathered around the T.V watching the news. We heard the announcer first.  "Live from St. Louis, New Jersey! It's the "Jersey News" with anchormen P-Train and Tan Jovi!" A reporter came on with a clear tan.

P-train started talking. "What's up, New Jersey? It's the evenin' news. Our top story tonight: many Jersey people are freakin' pissed after a small town in Colorado got all aggro on some decent Jersey folk! For more on this story we go to Chicago." We all got up. 

"What's up with that!" I screamed. Mom rubbed my back trying to calm me down.

"They got some major muff!" She screamed the brown hair bobbing from her head. I rolled my eyes putting the volume up. Another guy in Colorado came on.

"People here in Chicago, New Jersey are riled up, P-Train. Apparently, a town called South Park, which is at the border of Denver, New Jersey, is discriminating against people from Jersey! They won't sell houses to people from Jersey, and they're making all the ones who moved in move out." We saw a nice Jersey family getting forced out of their houses and cars. Their cars and houses littered with grafitti saying 'Jersey go home'. "And they're takin' down all the Jersey-owned shops!" We saw another image. A salon was being bombed and everyone in there ran out "It's like these people got a beef with Jersey. What's up with that?!"

The camera switched back to Tan Jovi. "WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!" He screamed. The camera then went back to P-Train.

"WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!" He screamed. Mom and dad were repeating the same thing. Tan Jovi came back on again.

"Well, we are coming after you, South Park! We fight discrimination! It's a Jersey thing!" He screamed. We were all fired up now. We were screaming to the top of our lungs. No one messed with us Jersey folk. I ran out of my house going to gather up the guys, the best Jersey folk around.

 In minutes all the guys were at Kyle's house. "What is it Stan. I was getting my biceps waxed!" Kyle screamed. Kenny and Cartman both nodded.

"Did you not see the news!" I screamed. Kyle got onto his feet.

"YEAH WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!" We all nodded and I pulled the map of South Park out.

"We gonna go over there and fuck them up! No one messes with us! We fight against discrimination... IT'S A JERSEY THING!" We all cheered with Kyle.

                        in South Park

We got to the ratty mountain town. "We gotta find some place to work out, my biceps are getting flat." Kyle complained. I rolled my eyes and Kenny quickly took charge when he saw some South Park kids. One wore a blue chullo hat, another had messy blonde hair, one had a jock's vest and the last one had crutches. Kenny ran towards the one in blue lifting him from the collar.

"EH! What's you got against Jersey!" He scremed. We took care of the others. The only one we left alone was the kid on crutches. We fought discrimination and bullying a kid on crutches would be exact discrimination. He kid flipped off Kenny which got us even more pissed.

"Come on blue! What's you got against Jersey!" Kenny screamed. He rolled his eyes.

"My name is Craig." He said in a monotone voice. That earned him a punch in the face from Kenny. He muttered kicking Kenny away.

"South Park will never be West Jersey!" He shouted. The rest of his... Let's call it gang did the same kicking until they were free and followed him. Cartman punched his fist about to follow them when I stopped him with my hand. I shook my head.

"No, let the pussies live in their ratty mountain town... Jersey's so much better." With that we went back to the airport going back to Jersey, away from these haters. They'd regret it one day and I hope that when that time comes it'll give them hell. Those muff cabbages deserved it.