Typical South Park One Shots and Readers ATTENTIONClosed for Requests

O.S Nothing odd(Home Lives)

home lives of south park kids one shot picture of the South Park kids and their families at the side song is Home by three days grace. Wrote this for fun. Next up is 2nd generation South Park one shot.

AFD

Kyle

"Bubbe, go wake up Ike alright?" Mom said as she ran her hands through my red hair. I nodded getting out of my chair and walking up the stairs. 

"Ike wake up!" I screamed. He muttered throwing a pillow at me. I growled at him. "Get up!" I screamed. He tossed around pulling the covers over his head. "Ike! That's a bad baby!" I said. He got up sticking his tongue out at me and went back to sleep. I growled getting on his bed.

I grabbed his arm shaking him like crazy. "Wake up!" I screamed. He shook his head his eyes tightening shut. I tickled him making his eyes pop open. 

"Ah! Clown!" He shouted falling off the bed. I looked at him dully as he started crawling away slowly. I cringed my forehead going back to my room and grabbing my green ushanka hat spending at least ten minutes making sure no red curly locks showed. 

Ike waited for me downstairs. He stuck his tongue out at me as I adjusted the backpack on him. He loved playing stupid so mom forced me to do stuff for him. He purposely gave me a hard time. "Ready for school?" I asked walking out the front door. He gulped hard nodding. I smiled, this was the best part of the morning. I got ready putting a nice space between Ike and I. "Ike! Kick the baby!" I yelled running at him and sending him flying. I smiled as I watched him disappear. Now to get to the bus stop.

Kenny

I yawned scratching my balls then walked over to my closet pulling my normal parka over me. I walked downstairs to find mom and dad throwing punches at each other. Karen was crying in mom's arm as she fought. "You lazy drunk! I paid for that with the money I made working at the Olive Garden!" She yelled. Dad quickly punched her back screaming.

"Dumb bitch! You wouldn't have that job if it wasn't for me!" He yelled. Kevin walked in getting between the two.

"Damn is that all you hoes got!" He screamed. That made dad even angrier. He threw a punch at him and mom quickly held Kevin back.

"You're both pieces of shit!" She yelled. With that, I grabbed my backpack about to leave when mom called to me.

"Oh no, you don't! Pack them like I showed you and give them to that guy you pass when you walk to the bus stop!" I nodded going into the open garage. We never bothered closing it. Inside were all the ingredients to make the famous McCormick recipe, passed down for generations. Dad was so proud that he'd get to pass it down to me. I smiled as I smelled the all too familiar bleach. I quickly placed the pieces of rock hard cocaine in their baggies and stuffed them in my backpack.  I left the house with Kevin arguing with dad, mom trying to break them up and Karen crying in mom's arms, just the usual. I found our client just around the corner two houses down. I quickly tossed him the bag. He pulled out his usual knife. I didn't care, I always stood up to the pussy calling his bluff. I died all the time like I gave a shit about knowing who did it. "I'm late to school," I said. He gave me a confused look he couldn't understand my muffled voice. I rolled my eyes walking to the school bus stop.

Cartman

Mr. Kitty woke me up at six. I immediately threw him off my bed. "That's a bad Mr. Kitty!" I yelled. He quickly meowed walking down the stairs. I sighed getting out of bed. I hated fucking stairs, I fucking hated walking. I dragged myself out of bed and went straight to the kitchen. I frowned at the sight of an empty kitchen. "Mahm!" I screamed. I waited tapping my foot on the ground for her to come and make me some damn breakfast. "Mahm! I'm seriously!" I shouted. Again no answer. I bit my lip trudging up the stairs. 

I slammed the door open. "Mahm!" I said with closed eyes. I opened them as she screamed.

"Oh! Poopykins!" She screamed. I cringed my forehead as some random guy lay on top of her.

"Ah, mahm." I whined. The guy quickly pulled his pants up running out of the room. "I need some goddamn breakfast!" I screamed. 

"Alright honey I'll be right down." She sighed. 

"Better be, dumb bitch..." I muttered. Mr. Kitty started bugging me now. He nibbled the bottom of my pants. He kept purring following my every movement.

When I got in the kitchen he started jumping around. "No Mr. Kitty! That's a bad Mr. Kitty!" I said smacking him over the head with a newspaper. "Mahm Mr. Kitty's hungry!" I screamed. She didn't answer and I  trudged up the stairs again.

"MAHM!" I screamed. This time she was on top of a different guy from earlier and had a pipe in her mouth.

"Oh... Poopykins, mommy forgot to tell you... There's cheesy poofs in the top cupboard, choco puffs in the lower cupboard and catnip in the bottom cupboard. You can eat anything else you want." She smiled. I was about to growl when I realized her words.

"Choco puffs sweet," I muttered leaving. Mr. Kitty went crazy when he saw the catnip earning him two smacks to the behind. And I served myself five bowls of Choco puffs and some doughnuts I found hidden under the sink. 

Stan

She knocked aggressively on the door for the tenth time in one minute. "Get out of the bathroom turd!" She yelled. I tried brushing faster, my pants weren't even up, that's how fast I was rushing because of Shelly's wrath. "Turd!" She screamed. I quickly spit swinging the door open. She immediately smacked me over the head with the couch. How the hell did she carry it upstairs? "No one wants to see your boxers, turd!" She screamed pushing me out the bathroom and slamming the door. I got up rubbing my injured head. 

"Stanley!" I quickly pulled my pants up running down the stairs seeing what dad wanted. My mouth dropped as I saw him in his boxers and a beer in his hand. I covered my eyes. "Stanley... Clean up this mess you made." He said swinging around trying to walk away. My eyebrow twitched at the clear mess dad made. Beer cans and tin cans of ravioli. I rolled my eyes grabbing the broom and sweeping around the garbage until I mad a small pile and dumped it in the trash. 

I winced as I heard feet trudging down the stairs. "TURD!" I looked back to Shelly with a piano in her hand. She quickly smashed me over the head. "You left the seat up! I just sat in a pile of turd piss!" She screamed. I sighed wiggling free from under the piano. 

"I'm sorry, Shelly..." I said with a gentle smile. She stared me down walking cautiously towards me. I was relieved for a second but she quickly formed a fist punching me fiercely in the gut.

"Are you staring at my headgear!" She yelled. I grunted falling to the floor. "get to school your turd bus is about to leave." She lisped. I swore getting up and grabbing my backpack and running out of the house, I guess this meant no breakfast... Who was I kidding this was the usual routine.

All the guys were at the bus stop, I envied their nice boring lives. Cartman didn't have to deal with siblings, Kyle only had his little brother, and Kenny's siblings loved him. I rolled my eyes standing next to Kenny. I looked at the ground biting my lip. "Uh... So how was your morning?" I asked in a bored tone when in reality I was super curious. We all looked at each other for a second then we all said the exact same thing.

"Meh, nothing odd."