Typical South Park One Shots and Readers ATTENTIONClosed for Requests

Twigs do have Thorns(King Kylexreader)

Ok dedicated to QueenOfCards for requesting king kylexreader from the stick of truth game. Kyle at the side anime style. Song is when I was your man by bruno mars.

AFD

Reader P.O.V

I was fed up with Cartman and his asshole servants. I hated fat ass in general now he was a bossy bitch. He didn't even want to let me play at first because I was a girl. I sighed as I brought king fatass his tenth bag os cheesy poofs today. He immediately threw it in my face. "What the fuck is this?" He growled. I rolled my eyes responding to him.

"Cheesy poofs sir." I said politely. He quickly got out of his throne. I stepped back afraid he'd squash me with that fat ass of his.

"This is garbage! The bag's torn and these are so 2009! I wanted the ultra bag of cheesy poofs with extra cheese! This is why we shouldn't allow girls into the KKK!" He shouted. I glared him down. 

"FIne then sir fat ass! I quit!" I shouted. He smiled at my comment. 

"Gather round guys. ____ can't handle the pressure of being in Kupa Keep! Who had the bet of two days?" He said. I thought he was joking but Butters quickly stepped forward.

"I did wizard king! Oh boy I never win!" He shouted collecting a dollar from all the guys. I growled storming off. Fuck them, I knew another place where I could actually be accepted.

I walked over to Kyle's kingdom. I was greeted by a couple of elves who welcomed me. Stan immediately walked me to Kyle. He left us in peace. 

"What do you want ___?" He asked hastidly as if he was in a rush. I shrugged it off and began to speak.

I knelt on one knee. "I'd like to join your kingdom if you'd let me." I said. He gave me an odd look grabbing his golf club. I slowly backed away. He swung it behind him and pointed it at me. It touched my nose as I stood there shaking in my skin.

"No way, you've just come from Kupa Keep? Correct, you're probably a spy right? Besides girls are strictly forbidden to join this kingdom, cause too much drama." He said. I looked down disappointed.

"Alright." I said walking away. I didn't really get it though. Why was Kyle being so mean. Why would I be a spy I mean I hated fat ass. I only joined because Kyle hadn't made his kingdom yet. I sighed walking back home. As I walked in the lonely streets I could see a faint silhouette running towards me. I was frozen, I couldn't move. In seconds he smashed right into me. I picked myself off the cold floor glaring at him.

"Clyde. what the actual fuck!" I screamed. He gave me a smug look. I scanned him down seeing it. In his left pocket stood a stick. Not just a stick, the stick, the stick of truth. My eyes widened.

"That's not the..." I was interrupted as he kissed me on the lips to silence me. 

"Shut up, you can't tell anyone, I stole it from Kupa Keep, I'm making my own kingdom want in?" He whispered. I smiled nodding.  He grabbed my hand dragging me to his house.

Once his dad greeted him he quickly flung the door open to his backyard. My eyes widened as I saw Craig,the harry potter kids, the star trek kids, the vamp kids, and Chef. He smiled gaining the attention of his army. "I've suceeded in getting the stick! The world is ours!" He shouted. They all cheered for him. I sat down for a minute trying to process it all. "Want a seat at the thrown ___?" He asked. I looked at his hand first in awe then angrily. I smiled taking it. 

"Of course." I didn't need damn Kyle or fat ass wizard king. Clyde accepted me in his army and that was all I needed. We were interrupted by Mike Vampir.

"Uh yeah excuse me you got a letter from the elf king." He said lisping. I smiled as he walked away back to his vamp minions. Clyde read it aloud.

"Dear Clyde, we know you have a stick, we're coming after you. P.S,we're getting our soilder back.  ____ we're not holding back just cuz you're a girl~Kyle" I gulped hard. Why did he want me back. He didn't even want me in his stupid kingdom. Clyde gave me a reassuring smile before he gained the attention of his army again.

"The elf army is coming! Kupa keep will not falter! Prepare for battle!" Everyone began to run around. Clyde calmly stepped off his throne. "hey, you're not going back with them right?" He asked. I shrugged in response. He stared at me for a while but then went to get prepared for battle. I shrugged the behavior off getting myself ready.

"Open the door Clyde!" Cartman yelled. I rolled my eyes. Kupa Keep made it here before the elf kingdom could. We were ready for them. "Fine you asshole we'll knock it down!" He screamed. We heard three loud thumps then it came crumbling down. I grabbed my wooden sword ready to take them on. The vamps charged in first. Butters was the first to get injured by a vamp girl with red highlights. Everyone stopped when another battle cry came.

"For the elf kingdom!" Cheering followed as the elves swarmed the place. The vamps stopped their attack and went for the goths. Chef stayed back with the Clyde and I. We were their last line of defense. Clyde was in an intense fight with Stan who was trying his best to protect Kyle. 

I looked away as Craig kicked Stan to the floor stepping onto his stomach. "Ow..." I said in pain just from watching him. When I looked up Kyle's green eyes were locked onto my (e/c) ones. I bit my lip as he stood up. 

"Is this what you want!" He screamed. I looked away gripping my sword. "Is it!" He screamed once again. This time I charged at him with all my angered strength.  My wooden sword hit his hard skull. He fell with a swear. 

"Damn." He said groggily hitting the floor. I looked down frozen... "Jake..." I said eyes widened in awe. My dumb five year old brother, sacrificed himself for butt fucking Kyle. I fell to my knees. I could feel my tears hit Jake's unconcious body. Damn, was I gonna be grounded. Kyle slowly left his throne approaching me. I looked down at him wishing I hadn't joined this stupid game in the first place.

I felt Kyle's arm on my shoulder. "It was the only way to get you back..." He whispered. I swiped his arm off me.  I back away grabbing my sword.

"What the hell! You didn't want me in your fucking kingdom so why!" I screamed. He looked away shameful. I continued to cry holding my brother. Was he gonna be okay? I hit him with all the force in my body and he was pretty small for a five year old. Kyle's whispering broke my concentration.

"Because I regretted sending you away..." I looked up at him tear stricken. "I didn't know if I could trust you cuz, I've been betrayed a lot by my best friend even my little brother... I'm sorry." He said slowly. He bent down to his knees stroking my brother's forehead. He smiled. "I don't think he's got a concusion, he's just knocked out." He whispered. I looked at him with a dull look.

"Why did you regret it, you seemed pretty sure." I whispered. He smiled moving his hand onto mine. I blushed looking into his eyes. I could see the clear red tint in his cheeks. 

"Because I like you..." He said. I smiled kissing him on the lips. I smiled at his face that was as red as his hair.

"I like you too Kyle." I whispered. He smiled screaming to his army.

"Seize fire!" He shouted. I smiled as his elves stopped fighting. He calmly walked over to Cartman. He punched him in the face and he quickly ran wailing for his mommy.

"This war is over!"  I smiled as he took my hand and we walked off. Kyle had rough edges thorns that made me hate him but when it came down to it, he loved me the way I was and that was all I could ask for.