Typical South Park One Shots and Readers ATTENTIONClosed for Requests

Questionmark(Mysterionxreader)

Ok mysterion and Kenny at the side anime style. Dedicated to half_otaku626 for requesting Mysterionxreader. This is kinda of mysterionxoblivious/naive reader. So ____ can either mean reader's name or reader's super hero/ evil villain name. Song is Superheroes by The Script

AFD

 KFC has been banned of my town.  I didn't take it seriously when it first happened but now the streets are more crowded with crime then before. The reason? The coon and ___, have worked together to make the biggest mafia Kentucky fried industry the town's ever known. I have to watch my back. I needed to take them down before more gangs would pop up again. I sighed coming up to the abandoned storage facility. I kicked at the door and it opened.

"Well if it isn't goody goody Mysterion?" She teased. I kept my cool composure but really I wanted to kill her. I sighed as I continued to speak.

"What your boyfriend not here today, where is fat boy?" She turned flush red. She began to scream and I all I could do was laugh.

"He is not my boyfriend!" I continued to laugh as she tackled me. Her knees dug into my stomach. I coughed a slight pain in my gut. I also did it because I had a pretty good view... I shook my head no, time to save my city not to fool around.

"How much of the cut does fat ass give you ___, is it really worth it?" She rolled her eyes leaning against the wall.

"I just count the money I've been wanting out but Cartman threatened to kill me. Besides if I left I'd never find out who you were Mysterion." She whispered. I rolled my eyes and in a split second she was gone. Probably hiding in the shadows. I sighed as she appeared behind me. 

"Right? Clyde!" She screamed trying to tug off my cloak. I looked at her dully as I kicked her to the floor.

"Please, I'm not as dumb as Clyde, besides learn some manners I've only got one cloak." She smiled. 

"So you're not Token!" She screamed. I looked at her dully stepping away. 

"I'm not black." I simply said. She gasped.

"I meant as in Token's rich he'd have a million cloaks you racist!" She screamed. I kicked her again.

"Let me in the facility so I can kick the Coon's ass. Come on you're stalling and he's letting me kick your ass. So let me in."

Reader P.O.V

I couldn't believe how right, Clyde, I mean Craig... I mean Mysterion was. The Coon, who I was pretty sure was Honey Boo boo didn't give two shits about me. I sighed moving aside. Maybe this way I wouldn't get in too much trouble for selling illegal food.

"Not so fast Mysterion and traitor!" We both turned around to see The Coon. He jumped at me clawing my face. I squealed.

"Ah... That stings...." I said trying not to touch my face. To my surprise Mysterion threw himself in front of me.

"I'm the one you want to fight fat boy." He yelled. The Coon smirked.

"Well get ready to get your ass kicked then!" He screamed. Before Coon could lay a hand on him Mysterion sent him flying into some boxes. He hit his head and started wailing.  "Shut up Cartman." Mysterion said. My eyes widened.

The coon was Cartman? No way! That was impossible, I would've never imagined. "Thanks Kenny." I whispered repressing a laugh. No way Mysterion was Kenny. He turned stiff turning towards me.

I punched him on the shoulder. "Just kidding! Of course you're not Kenny, he's too lame, I bet you're Stan! Well see ya later tiger." I said kissing him on the cheek. I could feel his cheeks heat up. I was probably right about Mysterion being Stan. 'M' for Marsh right? I laughed walking into the darkness I guess our empire had fallen. I was making good money too.

Kenny/Mysterion P.O.V

So I managed to stop Cartman and ___. Her reaction towards me saying his name was priceless. Not only that she still didn't know. Wow, what a weirdo. Did ___ really not know who I was. I smiled at how naive she was. I mean really what the heck?