Smosh X Reader One- Shots and Ianthony One-Shots!

Missing You!

 The person who said Tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all was wrong! Maybe they never had the chance to experience a love like I shared with you? If they had then they'd know the pain I feel, losing you felt like a part of me died with you!

 You were my best friend, my rock, my smile and without you by my side, I feel lost! We shared so much together over the years first as best friends, then lovers. As best friends we shared jokes, pranks, and laughter there was nothing that we didn't do, I could go on for days and still not get through all the memories we shared! As lovers we shared more, we shared our hearts, bodies, and souls we became one person! Sure our love wasn't without struggles and fights, but we always worked through it somehow promising each other we'd never go to bed angry. Truthfully, neither of us could stay mad at the other for long, all it took was one smile, or look and all was forgotten! There wasn't anything we couldn't work through together, no matter how angry we were or what was said we always forgave each other and came out stronger for it!

 I miss everything about you, but it's the little things I think I miss the most. Things like the way you smelt, your laugh, the way you'd bite your bottom lip gently when you were concentrating or the way you'd leave me little notes around the house or at work telling me you loved me! I miss the way you'd look at me; you always made me feel so loved and needed! Those are just some of the many little things I miss about you, I miss holding you, I miss telling you I love you and I miss hearing you say it back! I miss waking up and going to sleep with you by my side, always there to hold, now all I have left to hold is your pillow it still smells like you so it's almost like holding you again...almost!

 Since you've been gone days and nights blend together, I hardly sleep or eat...I'm only surviving, not living! Our friends have tried to help me move on and live my life, but I don't want to move on I'm not ready...truthfully I don't think I'll ever be! I've pushed them away, I know you'd be so pissed with me for it, but it's easier for me to do that then have to look at them and be reminded of what we all lost! The whispers and stares from people everywhere I go, even strangers have become difficult to bear, and their empty words of comfort mean nothing to me! I've tried to live, I really have, living for the both of us...and I can't do it anymore!

 I think about the night you died a lot, and every time I do my anger and hurt consume me! You're gone all because some little wanna be gangster punk kid decided to rob the one damn coffee shop you were at! You died trying to keep him from hurting anyone and because of your courage he shot you...I lost you to his gun! You didn't die alone thankfully, someone held your hand...it should have been me! You died before the paramedics could get there, I rushed down to the scene after I got the phone call and I tried to get to you, but no one would let me! I watched as they loaded you into the ambulance and drove you away from me, I never got to hold you or tell you I loved you one last time! You died a hero and I was left alone!

 Everyone keeps telling me time will lessen my pain, but they're wrong! It's been almost a year, and I still feel the pain of losing you as if it happened only yesterday! I wish with everything I' am that I was stronger and I could live without you, but I'm not! My life is empty without you and as I lie here on our...my bed holding a picture of us, I can feel the sleeping pills I took numbing me finally! Please forgive me for being too weak to go on anymore without you! As my eyes close for the last time and I get to see you again know one thing...
                                                                         I'll always love you, Ian!

THE END!