The Slowest Burn - Bellarke

Bellarke season 4 AU- "Don't tell me that you love me"

* ravenisherebish coming in clutch with the one shot ideas*
*Bellamy and Clarke have been ignoring the time they shared together for weeks, until they can ignore it no longer*
***

"If I'm on that list, you're on that list."

Clarke remembered the determination in the boy's eyes. Something that she had never seen before. He was scared, terrified even. She could see his hands shaking as he picked up the pen, scribbling her name in the last spot on the list. Deep down she knew what that meant. He couldn't live without her. She felt the same. That's why she'd written his name to begin with, the thought of leaving him out of the Ark, closing the doors on him, hearing him call her name. Clarke shuttered.

"Clarke- I" Bellamy had hesitated, his voice wavering.

"I can't- do this alone. I can't- do this without you." He told her. Clarke could tell he was holding back.

She stood, taking his quivering hands in her own.

"I feel the same." She told him, saying nothing but everything. She hoped her eyes finished the sentence. She hoped he could tell from the look on her face that she felt the same as he did.

There was a silence between them, so heavy, every word they were too scared to say hanging in the balance, pulling them backward from one another like an invisible rope, tying them to their pasts. Gina, Lexa, everything they had done to betray each other. But when Bellamy reached up, so gently, to cup Clarke's face with his hand, all of that seemed to melt away. Everything wrong seemed like a distant memory.

Clarke let out a shuddering breath.

"What are you doing?" Her voice was barely a whisper. She feared her heart was beating so loud that Bellamy could hear it.

Bellamy swallowed hard, moving toward her slowly.

"Something I should have done a long time ago."

He pressed his lips to hers then. Warm, desperate, their entangled lips salty from the tears they'd both shed.

Clarke threw her arms around him then, deepening the kiss, tugging at the hem of his shirt. In a world full of so much pain, she was desperate to feel something, anything else.

Bellamy responded to her wordless pleas, whipping his shirt off and returning to her with only a moment to catch his breath.

He took her by the hips, lifting her up and coaxing her legs around his waist. With one sharp movement of his hand, the contents of Clarke's desk were dumped onto the floor, and Clarke was draped over the table.

Clarke couldn't believe herself. Never had she been so reckless, so carefree. But being with Bellamy was as easy as breathing.

If only everything had been so easy.

***

Now Clarke sat at a desk in Becca's lab. Looking desperately at the data on the screen, willing their god awful plan to work.