The Slowest Burn - Bellarke

Mount Weather Mental Health Clinic - Bellarke modern AU

*the loss of Clarke's father and her girlfriend in the same year prove too much, a stay in the Mount Weather mental health clinic might be just what she needs*
*video by TheTwins90 on youtube*
*disclaimer: the depictions of mental health in this part are based off of personal experience and the experiences of those around me. I'm not a doctor, nor do I claim to be an expert on mental health*
*trigger warnings for self harm and violence*
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What am I doing here?

Clarke's thought echoed in her mind as she handed over her wallet, her home keys, her shoes. Her mother stood behind her with a hand on Clarke's back.

It was supposed to be comforting but it felt like a vice. A trap.

Clarke's mom had been the one to suggest a stay at Mount Weather mental health clinic. After the loss of Clarke's dad, then her girlfriend Lexa only 4 months later, Clarke had been unable to sleep or eat. On most days it felt like a challenge to even breath.

She stopped showing up for work, for her classes.

She failed out of senior year.

And yet in doing nothing, Clarke had never felt so exhausted.

So when her mother suggested the clinic Clarke accepted.

Now that she was here though, the clinic felt more like a prison.

The next few moments were a blur, Clarke's mom tearfully hugging her goodbye, Clarke being guided gently yet forcefully through a gated door and led to her room.

"Group is at 10, a doctor will be round to book your individual session." The nurse said, smiling kindly.

Clarke hated pity.

There was nothing worse than the look of someone who felt sorry for you.

She nodded, but didn't say a word.

Clarke hadn't really spoken since Lexa.

Only a series or yes's and no's to make her life easier.

She couldn't recall the last time she said someone's name aloud, in a world where all anyone ever did was use her name.

It was a hallmark card to pity.

"I'm so sorry, Clarke."

"This must be so hard for you, Clarke."

"We can't keep doing this, Clarke."

Clarke sighed heavily, sitting on one of the small room's the single beds.

She played with the blue duvet that covered the clean white sheets.

What am I doing here?

"You're on my bed." Clarke heard a demanding female voice call.

Clarke looked up.

A beautiful, tall woman stood before her.

She wore the required grey sweatpants but she had torn the sleeves off of her matching t-shirt.