The Slowest Burn - Bellarke

Bellarke Modern AU- Adoption

*Bellamy and Clarke can't have children of their own and seek to adopt*
***

Clarke Griffin clung to her husband's hand as they entered the adoption fair. It felt like his arm was trapped in a vice but Bellamy didn't mind, he knew Clarke would be nervous, she wanted things to go well, especially since she felt like it was her fault that they were here.

"Clarke, we've been trying for months, I think it's time for us to talk to a doctor, someone who actually knows what they're doing." Bellamy begged. They had decided they wanted to start having kids just over six months ago and he was becoming anxious that maybe something was wrong.

"We don't need a Doctor. People get pregnant by accident all the time. It just takes a bit." Clarke fought.

It would be another year of trying before they decided to seek help. Bellamy knew exactly what Clarke was afraid of. He felt the same. Neither of them wanted to be the one that was 'broken'.

Clarke was numb as the pair signed in, providing their identification, and their documentation. The process to get here had been gruelling. But here they were, hours, possibly minutes away from meeting a child they could call their own.

"You ready?" She heard Bellamy ask, but it sounded far away. She was distracted by the music playing in the park grounds, the sound of children laughing.

"What?" Clarke forced herself to blink, looking up at Bellamy who was looking concernedly at her.

"Clarke." His voice was husky.

Clarke couldn't make herself speak. She wanted this so badly, and she knew Bellamy did too. But she was terrified or ruining everything like she had before.

"I'm so sorry, Clarke."

The pair stood outside of the doctors office, Clarke staring out into the car park, Bellamy staring at her.

"What do you have to be sorry for? It's my fault." Clarke's tone was abrasive. She didn't know how to act. She felt like they had wasted a year and a half of their lives because of her. Because of her unwillingness to compromise.

"Clarke," Bellamy grabbed the girl by the shoulders, turning her so she would look at him.

"This is not your fault." He reassured her, trying to gauge her response.

Clarke wiped a tear from her face, turning away from him.

"I understand if you want a divorce." She had to shut her eyes to say it. The reality of what she was offering really hitting her. Bellamy was her person. The love of her life, her soulmate, all of those things that people say but never really mean. She meant them. But she couldn't hold him back, she couldn't prevent him from having children of his own.

"What?" She could hear the outrage in Bellamy's voice.

"Clarke, I..." he stumbled.

"Clarke, you're my wife. You're the only woman I have ever truly loved, and you think that I would give that up?" He demanded.

Clarke turned to him, suddenly angry.

"I can't hold you back. You need a real wife and real... woman." She was crying now, and Bellamy pulled her to him swiftly.

"You're no less of a woman, or a wife because you can't have a biological child." He told her.

"And I wouldn't trade you for anything or anyone, you hear me?" He said, pulling back to look at her.