The Slowest Burn - Bellarke

5x09 AU- Clarke goes back for Bellamy

*inspired by Ful.FILM.ent*
*Clarke goes back to save Bellamy*

Clarke's foot weighed heavily on the gas pedal. She needed to get out of their. There was no way she could stop. If she stopped for even a moment, she would let the regret sink in. 

"Turn back Clarke!" Madi yelled, she was kicking her legs and making a fuss. 

"Madi, you're not five years old anymore. You need to understand that I am trying to protect you!" She shouted through gritted teeth. 

"I know you care about him Clarke." The girl said, suddenly serious. 

"I know that you would never leave him to die if it weren't for me." She admitted. 

"Madi he put the flame in your head, after I begged him not to. Clearly the Bellamy I cared about is gone." She felt tears in her eyes but she controlled them. He was a traitor. 

"Clarke..." Madi said her name and Clarke remembered every time Bellamy had said it. 

She remembered his face now, and the way his brown eyes sparkled when he was happy. She remembered what it was like to be in his arms. 

She remembered the jealously in her heart when she saw him with Echo, and how she couldn't stand the thought of him holding her the same way as he held Clarke. 

"I've seen your memories. I know you love him." Madi whispered, her voice hesitant. 

Clarke broke the car suddenly, both of them were thrown forward slightly. 

"What?" Clarke barked. 

"Lexa's not the only nightblood in here." She said, pressing her fingers to her skull. 

"My memories?" She whispered in reply. 

"Not all of them. Just when you had the flame. But he's there. In most of them. He's your safety net, the only person who understand exactly what you've been through. He's your one Clarke." Madi explained. 

Clarke let her tears fall now.

She wiped her eyes hurriedly. 

"Lexa thinks so too." Madi interrupted. 

Clarke was shocked. 

"Lexa?" She asked quietly.

"She knew how much Bellamy meant to you when she was alive. Being in your head only heightened that." Madi replied, placing her arm on Clarke's.

Clarke's mind reeled. 

She had Lexa's blessing. 

She knew she loved Bellamy. 

But he had moved on. 

He was in a relationship for crying out loud. 

She couldn't relate to him like Echo could. But God did she want to. 

She missed him, more than she had ever missed anyone, and she had left him out of jealously. 

She knew that now. 

Clarke removed her foot from the break, swinging the car around at a dangerous speed. 

"I'm an idiot." She whispered under her breath as she drove. 

"I love him."

***