The Slowest Burn - Bellarke

6x01 AU- "Why didn't you tell me about the radio?"

*what we deserved*

*Spoilers warning*

***

Clarke's hand traced against the pages of the children's book.

Everything felt so foreign to her. The children on the Ark had never been treated as special.

They were a burden. On resources, on their parents, most of whom didn't even want children, but felt compelled to in order to continue the human race.

Clarke felt a bit like that. A burden. Something people only endured for the sake of the human race.

Now more than ever Clarke felt like a burden.

Bellamy had told her that the others would come around... Clarke wasn't so sure.

Bellamy was the only person at the moment who treated her like a person.

The only person who cared enough to call out to her when she tried to save Shaw.

Clarke closed her eyes. Shaw.

It seemed everyone around her died.

Not Bellamy though.

Bellamy had been there through everything, forgiven her everything. He was the reason that she was alive today.

Two footsteps, then Bellamy soft voice caught her attention.

"Hey." He whispered.

"Hey." She replied. The air was tense.

All Clarke wanted to do was to talk to Bellamy. Hold him. Tell him that she never meant to hurt him. That leaving him in the fighting pit in a fit of rage was one of the stupidest things she had ever done.

"I wish Madi could have gone to school." She said, her voice hesitant.

"I wish Octavia could have." Bellamy sighed, taking a step toward her.

Clarke sighed heavily in response.

"Instead they had us to mess em up." She joked, somewhat bitterly.

There was a sad silence for a moment. But Clarke wouldn't let it linger. Her true feelings lay in the silence between them. It always had.

"Still no luck on the radio?" She asked, desperate to change the subject.

"No." Bellamy's voice was gruff.

Clarke knew he was hurting.

He had waited 6 years to see his sister again. The one person he put above all else had turned into a monster while he was away.

"Trust me I know the feeling." The words slipped out of Clarke's mouth before she could contain them.

Bellamy's face fell.

"I'm sorry I couldn't respond all those years." He whimpered.

Clarke's eyes met Bellamy's then.

He noticed how filled with shame they were, how vulnerable they looked in the low light.

He knew immediately that he had struck a cord.