The Slowest Burn - Bellarke

Bellarke 6x04 AU- Clarke's Confession

*Bellamy realizes just how important he is to Clarke*
*6x04 spoilers*
***

'Leaving him in polis'

Clarke wrote the words with a heavy heart. After all the things she had done, turning her back on the one person that has always forgiven her was the worst.

Bellamy was the one constant in the beyond crazy life she was living and yet she had been willing to let him die.

She didn't know what had come over her, was it the betrayal of Bellamy, putting the flame in Madi's head or was it something else.

Was it seeing him, his lips pressed to Echo's?

Maybe it was a combination. Maybe Clarke felt like that Bellamy wasn't her Bellamy.

Maybe she felt like he wasn't the man she knew anymore. The man she had spent the last six years convincing herself she didn't need.

Clarke tied the note around the lantern, looking up to see Bellamy.

God she needed him.

She made her way over to him. Trying to convince herself that he needed to hear her apology, not just that she needed to give it.

Bellamy watched as Clarke walked toward him. He tried not to stare.

After 6 years apart all he wanted to do was look at her.

He wanted to make sure nothing could hurt her, that she wouldn't be left behind again, that she was by his side like she should be.

"Apparently the lanterns float." She said as she approached, standing beside him.

"Taking your sins with them." Clarke whispered. She wondered how such a small lantern could possibly encompass all of her sins.

"Hmm," Bellamy began, staring at the lantern.

"If only it were that easy." He mirrored Clarke's thoughts with his words.

It brought Clarke a small amount of relief to know that after all this time, despite everything, her and Bellamy still agreed.

"Maybe it is?" She replied, her eyes searching his face hopefully.

Their eyes met then, and Clarke could see the pain in Bellamy's eyes.

She knew his sins were like rocks tied to his feet, weighing him down.

Bellamy could see it in Clarke's eyes too. The pain. Her conscience the very opposite of a lantern.

"I wrote down leaving you in Polis." The words slipped out of Clarke mouth before she could stop them.

"Clarke stop." Bellamy's reply was instant.

He couldn't think about that anymore.

He couldn't imagine her leaving him behind.

He looked upward, trying to stop the tears from spilling down his face.

Bellamy had done some awful things in his life, and he would pay for them, but the feeling of knowing that the one person who had always had your back abandoning you... it was almost too much for him to handle.