The Slowest Burn - Bellarke

6x02 AU- "It's okay, I love you."

*inspired by the Divergent movie*

*It seems Clarke wants to die and Bellamy wants her dead. What could possibly stop him?*

*Spoiler warning*

*Trigger warning: thoughts and mentions of suicide*

***

"You know what we do to cancer, right Clarke?" The words rung in Clarke's ears as she willed herself to focus. 

The effects of this planet were too much for her. Too much for the fragile suit of armor she'd put up around herself to survive here. 

Bellamy had told her that the others would forgive her, that they would change.

But it seemed that the people Clarke loved, that she almost died for, still hated her. 

"Cut it out?" Clarke's voice was weak. 

She could hear Murphy screaming her name in the background. 

It sounded like white noise now though. Something she couldn't completely focus on. 

"You wanna do better here, but you can't." Her mother's voice assaulted her ears. 

She watched Bellamy's hand collide with Murphy's face. Hard. 

That wasn't her Bellamy. 

But then again, she felt as if she barely knew him. 

There had been a moment, a few actually wherein Clarke felt like she belonged with Bellamy, and looking in his eyes she thought he felt the same. 

But here they were.

Bellamy with a girl on his arm and Clarke alone, just as it had always been. 

A heavy splash of the water broke Clarke's trance. 

She noticed now that Bellamy was holding John under. 

"I will keep us safe!" She heard Bellamy scream. 

Atleast that hadn't changed. 

Bellamy was still desperate to protect the people he cared about even in his insanity. 

"Now kill yourself, put us out of our misery." Abbey's voice was cruel. 

Clarke had always felt a burden. Especially in the most recent fight for Earth. 

She left Bellamy to die. 

She was constantly hurting the people that she cared about. That she loved. 

"Finish what you started!" The voice was more insistent now, as was Bellamy's hands around Murphy's neck. 

"It's not real, it's not real." Clarke tried to calm herself. 

The voice continued,  but Clarke threw it to the ground, watching it split in two.