The Slowest Burn - Bellarke

Season 4- underground

Authors note: Hi guys, from now on AU's that do not require a video will be accompanied by some of my favourite Bellarke edits from youtube: This one is by ShatteredxDreams. 

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*Trigger warning violence, night terrors and PTSD*

Clarke rolled over in her bunk. God she hated it here.

She hated being stuck underground, like a bird trapped in a cage.

She hated feeling useless and cramped. She hated feeling like all she could do was wait for time to pass.

It had been 3 months now, and she still mourned Raven.

They had to leave her behind if the human race was going to survive. She knew this, but part of her hated everyone that survived because of Raven's loss. 

She pulled her blanket up to her chin. It was cold underground and supplies were scarce. As far as she was concerned she was lucky to have a blanket. 

Clarke closed her eyes and forced herself back to sleep. There was no way to be comfortable here. There was only uncomfortable and less uncomfortable on this stupid plastic mattress. 

She realized how ungrateful she was being. But it was hard to be grateful trapped down here. 

Clarke sometimes wished she'd been left out of the bunker. 

She knew how that sounded, but it had been hard down here. 

Bellamy was off every other day, sleeping with half the population of the planet to forget about leaving Raven behind. 

She knew this was just how he coped, but it made his blood boil to see another girl sneaking out of his private room. 

Oh yeah... Now that Octavia was in charge, Bellamy got whatever he wanted. 

And apparently he wanted  to ignore Clarke, and pretend that they hadn't been friends for years now. 

Clarke was almost asleep when she heard screaming. Loud and incoherent. 

She instantly recognized the voice as that of Bellamy Blake. 

Clarke sprung from her bed, running down the hall and toward his room. 

When she arrived she was greeted to the sound of crashing and a lamp flying toward her head. 

It seemed she had been the only one truly bothered by the noise. 

It was true, people were often shouting here, and unless it directly concerned Clarke, she kept her head down. 

This however, concerned her. 

She ducked, and ran inside the room. 

Bellamy Blake stood before her. He was screaming, but his eyes were glazed over in sleep. 

Clarke knew what sleep walking was, and she'd had enough nightmares about Mount Weather to know this was a night terror. 

"Get off of her!" He shouted, running forward to clasp Clarke by the throat. 

He pressed her up against the wall, her feet kicking desperately as she tried to get free. 

"Bellamy..." She choked out, attempting to wake him. 

"I LOVE HER YOU BASTARD!" He screamed at her, clearly imagining her to be someone else. 

"Bellamy please." Clarke could feel her lungs struggling for air, she could feel herself growing drowsy. 

"Please don't hurt her, please." He cried. 

"Bellamy, I love you please stop." Clarke cried. 

Bellamy Blake blinked, his eyes taking in the room around him. 

He gasped in horror as he noticed his hand wrapped around the throat of the girl he loved. 

He ripped it away, falling backwards. 

Clarke slid down the wall, to weak to stay on her feet. 

She sucked in gulping breaths, forcing the cold air in and out of her lungs. 

"Clarke?" Bellamy whispered crawling toward her. 

He reached out to touch her. 

Clarke flinched away from him. 

"Clarke I'm so sorry." Tears were running down his face now. 

She shook her head to clear it. This wasn't his fault. 

She got to her kneels and crawled over to him. 

She pulled him into her arms. 

Bellamy clutched at her as the pair sat in the middle of the room gasping for air. 

"It's okay Bell, it wasn't your fault." She choked out. 

He cried into her, letting every repressed emotion out all at once. 

"They're right. I don't deserve you." He whimpered. 

Clarke pulled away to look at him. 

"Who?" She asked softly, touching the side of his face with her hand. 

Bellamy shut his eyes. 

"Every night they come to me and tell me I corrupted you. They tell me that I'm the reason you're a killer. That I don't deserve your love or comfort. I'm bad for you. That's why I've stayed away." He sobbed. 

"Who Bell?" She asked desperately, wiping the tears from his eyes. 

"The people from Mount Weather, the grounders, Finn, Lexa, Gina, Raven, anyone and everyone we've lost, everyone we've killed." He explained, clutching her in his arms. 

"None of that it your fault Bellamy." She whispered in his ear. 

She felt his tears on her shoulder. 

"You are the reason that I'm alive today." She said quietly. 

She pulled away to look at him again. 

She could see he was broken, and it broke her heart. 

She loved him. 

"You're the reason I want to be alive today." She whispered. 

Bellamy looked up at her with guilty eyes. 

"I hurt you." He cried. 

"I'm fine." She reassured him, though her lungs still burned. 

"No, Clarke... you have leave. I'll just hurt you again. I don't deserve you. Just go." He pleaded. 

Clarke took Bellamy's face in her hands. 

"I'm not going anywhere, you hear me? I love you." She said firmly. 

"You... love me?" He asked, his eyes full of hope. 

"I love you Bellamy Blake and I'm not going to leave you. You're stuck with me." She repeated. 

"I'm so sorry." He whispered again. 

She kissed him then. Bellamy's heart could have stopped. 

His hands wrapped around her waist. 

He had kissed thousands of women, hundreds in this week alone, and yet this felt different, special. He had been made to kiss Clarke Griffin. 

"I love you too." He whispered against her lips. 

Clarke laughed against him. 

"Good because otherwise this would have been real awkward." She joked. 

Bellamy Blake laughed, for the first time in months. 

"You're incredible." He said earnestly. 

Clarke smiled, kissing him once again softly. 

"So are you."