The Slowest Burn - Bellarke

Bellarke season 6 AU- What if Sanctum was abandoned?

*fanart by @sarahvara on tumblr*
*Sanctum was abandoned, the 100 finally get the fresh start they deserve*
***

Clarke looked out her window at the fog that rolled across the place she now called home.

It had been almost 2 months now since they had landed on the new planet. Books and documents found had informed them that it used to be called Sanctum.

Clarke felt that name fit. Sanctum; a sacred place, a safe place. Somewhere saved by the mercy of God. She didn't know about the god of it all, but she did know that it had been a miracle that they found this place.

She felt burning in her chest as she thought about Harper and Monty, they had sacrificed themselves. Clarke had vowed to spend each day making sure there sacrifice was worth it.

She would raise their son, just as they had asked. She would protect him as if he were her own.

Her mind couldn't help but wander now to Bellamy. He too had promised to look after Jordan and yet Clarke had barely seen him since they landed.

She had heard from Raven and the others that he could be found in the tavern most nights, drinking up what was left of Sanctums liquor supply.

She didn't know what happened to the people here and she couldn't make herself care. They had left, in their wake, a perfect place for her family to survive.

"Clarke?" Madi's tired voice filled the silence.

"Yeah?" She turned, moving over to Madi's bed and running her hand across her hair.

She may be older now, but she would always be Clarke's baby.

"Where are you going so early?" She yawned, rubbing her eyes.

"Just on a walk, I have to clear my head."

She kissed the girl on the forehead and proceeded out the door. The sun was barley up, the sky still cloaked in what was left of the darkness. Clarke hadn't lied to Madi, she did need to clear her head. Despite being safe, Clarke always felt on edge. Every moment of every day she was worried that the other should would drop, that they would be thrown back into chaos.

She had nightmares too, every horrible thing she had done, every person she had hurt, all coming back to tell her that she didn't deserve to feel safe or loved or happy. She deserved the pain and loneliness she had felt since she was arrested on the Ark.

Clarke walked along the edge of the lake, breathing in the cold air. Never in her life had she had moments of silence like this.

On the Ark the noise from the machinery keeping them alive occupied the silence, on the ground it was the crackling of fire or the murmur of the other delinquents. Even in the 6 years she was alone, Madi'a soft snoring had ensured her nights weren't filled with silence.

She let it absorb her, let herself revel in it. She let herself weep and mourn the life she could have had if she'd simply been born in another time.

Clarke continued down the edge of the lake, shocked when she saw a man lying on a bench.

"Hey!" She called out to him.

She knew he must have been freezing.

To her surprise a disgruntled Bellamy Blake sat up clumsily.

His hair was stuck to the side of his head with sweat, his beard, grown unruly since they had arrived.

"Bellamy?" Clarke moved over to the boy, who sat at an angle, staring up at her wearily.