The Slowest Burn - Bellarke

Bellarke ending AU- 'I never thought I'd see you again'

*Beautiful fan art by @lafemmeenbeige on tumblr*
*Clarke's long, happy life comes to an end but there is someone waiting for her on the other side*
*trigger warning; major character death. Mentions of cancer*
***

"65 years, 41 spent in peace. Not a bad run." Clarke sighed, her fingers struggling with the buttons on her blouse. As she aged Clarke found herself less and less able to do the things she used to do.

"We don't know if it's cancer yet, Clarke." Jackson tried to sound optimistic.

"I know that voice, Jackson. We've known each other far too long for you to get away with lying to me." She laughed, the joyful noise turning into a hacking cough. Clarke placed a tissue against her mouth to cover it, it came away bloody.

"We could try chemo. Sanctum has medicine, we can go back there." He offered.

Clarke looked out the window, a soft breeze blew through the trees, fall was turning into winter. She hoped to see snowfall one last time.

"I'm old, Jax. I'm tired, I can't sleep. I just want to rest." She sighed.

"Is it the nightmares?" He questioned, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Are you seeing him again?"

'I'm sorry'

Clarke could hear the gun go off as loudly and clearly as the day it had. She could see the look on his face, the betrayal, she could see him clutching his chest as she turned away. She knew he would die and yet she left him. Why would she leave him?

"Clarke?" Jackson asked, shaking her shoulder gently.

"You still with me?"

She wiped a tear from her eye. 41 years later and yet it still brought her pain to think about.

"I miss him. So- so much it feels like there's a hole inside of me."

Jackson squeezed her shoulder comfortingly.

"Why do you think that is?"

"No, no don't you go shrinking me. I don't need a therapist."

Jackson laughed sadly.

"What do you need? What can I do?"

"I need you to tell me how long I have. I need to be with my family."

She thought about Octavia, Murphy, Emori, Raven, the people she now considered a part of her. She thought of all the others too, the time she spent with them had formed a bond, that felt unbreakable, as much as she didn't want to lose them, she was ready for whatever was next.

A thought crept into her mind, one she couldn't force out. What if there wasn't anything next?

She knew she'd never see her daughter again, and that would always tug at her heart, but what if there was nothing at all?

She shook her head to clear it, trying to focus herself back on Jackson's words.

"The symptoms you're presenting with indicate that the cancer is advanced. I'd need to run some tests but I imagine- it will be quick, Clarke." He said gently, tears in his eyes.