The Slowest Burn - Bellarke

Season 3 AU- *if Bellamy had fought Roan and freed Clarke* part 1

Bellamy was desperate to find her, and everyone knew it.

Since she'd left he'd dreamt almost every night of her return.

There was a part of him that still didn't believe that Clarke had really left.

After everything they had been through, how was she missing when he needed her most.

His mistakes were only growing, without Clarke influence he was being pulled deeper and deeper in Pike's corruption.

He could feel himself sliding, and while Clarke was usually there- like the brave princess- to pull him back from that ledge.

He needed her to keep him sane.

Without her nothing made sense. He would spend hours in strategy meetings and all he could think was 'Clarke could do this better', 'Clarke would know how to do this without hurting people' and 'Clarke would never do that'.

Bellamy walked through the woods. It was hard to see through the mask, but he was determined.

He'd seen her, caught one glimpse of that beautiful face and that was enough to inspire him.

That man, the one who had taken her, tied her up, hurt her, he was dead.

When Bellamy found him, he was dead.

Bellamy shut his eyes for a moment and thought back, to a time when he thought maybe he and Clarke could be together.

It's true that they hadn't always seen eye to eye. The first few weeks on the ground he hated Clarke.

He thought she represented everything he hated about the Ark.

But that wasn't true.

While the Ark was cruel and calculating, Clarke was smart and kind.

She would die before she hurt anyone she cared about, and killing the Mountain Men almost killed her.

He knew deep down, that the only reason she left was because of the guilt of the murder, but it felt personal.

He was begging her to stay, and she looked him in the eyes and said 'you're not worth it'.

He knew this wasn't true.

He knew that Clarke cared about him as much as he cared about her.

But the question was how?

Bellamy loved Clarke, he'd seen a future with her, the day she closed the drop ship doors.

Sure, for afar that may sound stupid, she was shutting them out, leaving them for dead, but that was not the case.

Clarke didn't trust easily, and for her to trust him, with Finn no doubt. She cared for him, even if it wasn't romantically.

But God he hoped now, now that Finn was gone, now that Lexa had betrayed them.

He prayed that she felt what he felt too.