The Slowest Burn - Bellarke

I fixed 7x13 but couldn't fix my own broken heart

*SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN 7x13*
*I have no words, this might be the last update, we were robbed*
***

"Indra, watch him." Clarke tried to keep her voice firm. She needed to stay in control. To save her friends. The ones she could save. It felt, with everything passing moment, like Bellamy was drifting further away from her.

"I said, I wouldn't lose anyone else,"

She looked at Bellamy, a shell of the man she knew. A shadow. A cheap imitation. Looking at him felt looking at oneself in the dark, your face becoming distorted, twisting into something you don't recognise.

"But I have." Her words stung her own mouth.

"You."

Bellamy's face read of so much regret. Clarke could almost convince herself it was her Bellamy, trapped inside himself, begging to get out.

"That doesn't matter to you though does it, Disciple Blake?" She stiffened her resolve. This was the Bellamy that let her and Raven be tortured in the MCAP, that betrayed her to Cadogan.

Bellamy said nothing. Clarke could see him grasping for the words. Anything to make it okay. Nothing could.

"So much for together." She bit. After everything they had been through. Everything they had done. How could he turn his back on her now?

Clarke turned hers instead. She intended to leave him here. Let him think about what really mattered to him.

Clarke had always mattered. He had fought for her, time and time again and yet, now he was silent.

"Let's go." She barked. If she kept herself angry, she couldn't be sad.

Bellamy watched as Clarke walked away from him.

He desperately wanted to call her back. To tell her that he was doing this for her. But she wouldn't accept that.

"I can help you if you help me." A voice spoke from the corner.

"My throne." Sheidheda whispered.

"The book."

Those words caught Clarke's attention.

She turned back to see Bellamy with his hands clasped around Madi's journal.

Her heart sank.

"Bellamy," Clarke's throat was thick.

"Give it to me."

"Now." She begged.

She had her gun pointed at the other disciples.

"Or I'll kill them."

She knew Bellamy wouldn't risk others lives. He had always hated killing. It tore him up inside. It's what kept him awake at night. What haunted his nightmares.

"You know I will." He had to know that she would do anything for Madi.

After all, she's left him in the fighting pits for her daughter. And though she's promised to never do that again. It seemed like he wanted her to.