The Slowest Burn - Bellarke

5x13- Clarke and Bellamy stay behind

*they needed someone to stay behind and put everyone into Cryo, of course Bellamy Blake volunteers*

"No Bellamy!" Clarke exclaimed before the words were even out of his mouth.

She could see the look in his eyes when Monty suggested someone stay behind.

Echo looked at her confusedly.

"No what?" She asked.

"He wants to stay behind." She said through gritted teeth.

Echo let out a shaky breath, looking toward Bellamy.

"Is that true Bell?"

Clarke could winced at the term. Bell. It reminded her that in her absence he had had a life, a lover, and a family.

She was none of that, though she had sought to be all when he returned to the ground.

That was not the case, instead she faced years without him again.

He would grow old, and she would stay frozen.

"No." Clarke said again before Bellamy had the chance to speak.

He gritted his teeth.

Why was she so insistent, why did she always have to be the hero.

He sighed angrily and ran his hand across his face.

The war paint was gone, it felt strange to be 'back to normal' like the had been on the ring.

He remembered the ring now, the feeling of isolation and loneliness everyday.

Every time he thought about Clarke there he was reduced to tears.

He had been having nightmares, where is was him who killed her.

The only way to stop them was to share a bed with someone and Echo volunteered.

She wasn't nurturing by any means, but he felt connected to her.

She had done bad things like him, she was tryna be better like him.

She had kept him warm but he still ached for the girl he'd lost.

They'd been almost everything.

But now they were nothing.

"Can I speak with Clarke privately?" He said softly.

Monty hesitated but nodded, as they left Clarke could hear him explaining that it could be 10 or more years before the ground was survivable.

Like hell he was staying.

"Clarke." His voice was gravelly, his words reminiscent of some many times before.

"Clarke I have to do this." He said seriously.

She began to object, but he placed a finger gently over her lips.