The Slowest Burn - Bellarke

Bellarke 6x13 AU- I can't do this anymore

*literally wtf! I didn't think we would get bellarke in this ep but I also didn't think Becho would last this long. Guess I'm the clown.*
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"They're back." Bellamy let relief creep into his voice. If he was honest, since he brought Clarke back he was terrified whenever they were apart.

He'd been waking up with nightmares almost every night. They were different every time, but every time he couldn't save her.

Sometimes they went back, all the way to that first day with Clarke dangling over that pit, just inches away from being impaled.

In the dream his hand would slip and she would fall.

Bellamy thought about all the things he would have missed, if he had let Clarke die there.

He shuddered.

"Don't let this delay you. We're still leaving." Bellamy was distracted from scanning the group.

He watched as Gabriel took off into the crowd.

"The Anomaly awaits." He heard Echo say. He could tell she was trying to cheer him up, but he knew he wouldn't be able to breathe again until he saw Clarke.

"I'm right behind you." He told Echo, pushing his girlfriend away so that he could find his best friend.

Bellamy knew that it was wrong.

He knew he shouldn't feel this strongly for another woman.

But he always had.

He had always felt like Clarke was his centre, the air in his lungs, the beating of his heart, the voice in the back of his head that led him toward good.

Echo could never be that.

Bellamy's search was interrupted by Jordan, the boy looked broken. Bellamy knew how he must be feeling, the girl he loved had died.

Bellamy too had been swallowed by that loneliness, first on the ring, where he had sought Echo for comfort, and then again here in Sanctum. But he found then that Echo couldn't heal him anymore. He needed to be alone, to grieve, to berate himself for not taking the chance.

He watched Echo disappear into one of the buildings in search of supplies.

He tried to listen to Jordan's words but his mind was still reeling.

He wouldn't be able to focus until he saw her.

"You look like you had a rough night." He tried his best to sympathise with the boy.

"Not as rough as some." Jordan said gruffly.

"Come on," Bellamy told him,

"They're back from space." All he wanted was to see her.

"I saw the ship." Jordan said sadly.

"You go." He told the older man.

"I'm gunna help clean up our mess."

Bellamy nodded. There was no arguing with a broken man.

He turned to leave.