Natepat & Septiplier oneshots

18. Hello and Goodbye

SHIP:
Natepat

SUMMARY:
Mat calls a random number late one night unable to sleep caused by the thoughts his brain yells at him

GERNE:
Idk

WARNINGS:
Depression and mentions of suicide

EXTRAS:
This is oneshot has some of my own life experiences written in it. Thought I'd share that - I sound like an attention whore but you know...

WORDS:
755

_________________________

Drowning is a terrifying thing you can't breath no air can escape your lungs and you're slowly suffocated until you blackout and are either saved or die, however when you're drowning out of water it's different there is only one way to escape the consent tight feeling in your chest and you can't call out for help.

Mat lay back on his bed staring at the ceiling unable to sleep despite being tired his mind screaming at him taunting him, he believed he was worthless and that the world would be better off without him. The theorist blinked and tried to sleep however to no avail, with a heavy sigh he picked up his phone looking at the glowing numbers; 3:47am. He pressed on to the keypad and dialled a few times until he managed to get a number that actually worked.

After a few rings the stranger answered the phone putting it on speaker and resting it at the end of his bed, he spoke into the phone to the unknown caller,
"Hello who is this?"
Mat took a deep breath before replying the first thing that came to his mind,
"Hello, I'm Mathew Patrick and I have no idea who you are but can I spill out my thoughts to you?"
There was a sharp inhale on the other end of the phone before the stranger answered,
"I don't know why you would but of course you can - I'm Nathan Sharp by the way you can call me Nate."

The theorist couldn't help but smile at the the male's response and he began to speak,
"Firstly I dialled a random number because I just don't feel like I can tell any of my friends the way I'm feeling - they could call me an attention whore or simply leave me alone." He paused for a moment swallowing thickly before carrying on,
"It began back a few months ago when my friends began making fun of me for a joke and when I took it too seriously they would just wouldn't stop finding my suffering funny, one of my friends had it worse however I'm selfish and only worried about myself. Everyday I feared going near them but they'd still call me and refuse to leave me alone calling me names like baby and other things." He stopped tearing up slightly, he knew it was stupid telling a complete stranger these things.

"Carry on Mathew, it'll be better if you just get it all out," Nate encouraged his voice soft through the phone, having heard the male's voice crack slightly. Mat taking a deep breath continued,
"So a week before three of us were away to go on a trip to the theatre I attempted suicide by trying to strangle myself with a charger however it proved ineffective and I realised death is painful. You can feel your lips go blue and they crack with pain, your sigh goes blurry and you begin to lose control of your body until you almost blackout. I didn't try again after that, it's stupid that I'm telling you this, I don't even know you."

The stranger spoke gently,
"Sometimes telling a stranger these things can feel more comfortable than telling someone you already know."

"Thanks Nate anyway after that I noticed death is a scary thing yet it's still something I crave for. My brain yells out at me screaming how useless and worthless I am, that it'd be better if I just died. Life hasn't got much meaning to it if we're all going to die one day and one person gone won't make a difference. I never came out to my parents as I was scared of getting thrown out. I just can't handle anything anymore so Nathan Sharp this was our first hello and our final goodbye."

Nate tried to yell out in protest but the phone line went dead. He attempted to dial the number back however it just rang until it went to voicemail.

Mat sat with a bottle of pills lying next to him and his phone to the right of him.

At least he'd told someone the way he truly felt.