Natepat & Septiplier oneshots

137. Take a second

SHIP:
Not really a ship but based around Virgil (anxiety)

WARNINGS:
Suicidal thoughts
Depression (to an extent)
Anxiety

EXTRAS:
This is not at all meant to glorify any of these things but this is written from my own experiences and in a way is meant to promote self-love and self-care (don't know if it came across very well)

AU where they aren't actually sides

WORDS:
677
__________________________

Sometimes all you need to do is take a second to think, to take a step back and just look at the bigger picture. That's how Virgil felt, the boy was in pain... not physically but emotionally and he had been for about three years, it was something awful to think about realising someone has been gone for that length of time yet it can feel like it was only yesterday you were last speaking to them. For a long time he felt the pain he felt control him and he wanted to end it to get rid of the pain once and for all however he took a step back to look at the bigger picture and realised of course it hurts but ending the pain meant leaving behind the memories you kept of the people who you loved which kept them alive. Losing people who you love hurts and it breaks your heart but what Virgil knew was that nothing bad lasts forever and you need to remember the good things about their life and celebrated that they lived rather that mourn that they are gone.

It took Virgil a long time to realise this but it's not selfish to think that people would miss you if you were gone and it's not selfish to put your health above other people sometimes. It was when Virgil was lying on his bed not even having the energy to do anything not even move, he was failing everything cause he didn't have the energy to do homework or try in class, he was in a slump he didn't think he could get out of but he had people supporting him but Virgil managed to pick himself up and survive. There are times where the walls break down and everything he's created comes tumbling down beside him lying there but that just gives him the chance to rebuild himself again, learning a lot as he goes along his way. Dealing with grief will never be an easy thing to do and it never will get better but Virgil realised he didn't have to go through it alone, there were people he could talk to and people did care.

Another thing that began to become a lot prominent during this time was Virgil's anxiety, as a child he'd been confident and hadn't really cared what people think but as he got older he dealt with people pretending to be his friend who weren't, people speaking behind his back, presentations where students would laugh in your face, listening to parents fighting more and more, worrying about how your family members are getting on and eventually everything just piled up, but you can't let it define you. Sure mental health can be a massive enemy in your life but you can't let it define who you are and that's what Virgil learnt and he's still learning to deal with it. He's still learning to deal with a lot but he knows that there are people who have his back the same there is with everyone, everyone has someone who cares about them and loves them even if it doesn't feel that way.

Sometimes all you need to do is take a second to breath
Count to ten
And tell yourself it'll be okay
You can go back out there
You can do it.

"I was heartbroken... Scared. I had a lot of anxiety I was worried. I felt weak. And I had no idea how I was going to come up with the strength... But I just closed my eyes and took a blind leap... I knew I had to get out of there."