Natepat & Septiplier oneshots

190. Moonlight

SHIP:
Danti

WARNINGS:
Mentions of suicidal thoughts but overall happy oneshot (ish)

EXTRAS:
I finally got bloody Netflix after all this time so if you guys have any show suggestions put them in the comments

WORDS:
903

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"Thank you, bye," Anti smiled at the woman as he felt the chipper, the food swinging on his arm as he started his walk back home. The night felt so much more peaceful than the day even though the cold air bit at his skin he felt like he could stay out in it for hours. He looked up at the sky and saw a sheet of black with only light traces of sliver and a small moon in the distance... a sight which was common but he began to feel grateful.

Earlier in the day the boy had not been doing so good. He'd had a breakdown, something he was usually able to prevent doing in front of people, something he usually waited until he was alone to do... this time that wasn't the case and Dark had caught him, he'd comforted his boyfriend and as much as he denied Anti knew it annoyed him. Why wouldn't it? Anti had, a long time ago, come to the conclusion that he wasn't allowed to feel pain or be upset because he had to be the comforter, that was his role and if he was upset who would comfort Dark? Or his mum? Or whoever when they needed it... and they always needed it when Anti felt pain. Sometimes he felt like laughing about it actually cause it was amusing even if Anti was the one upset, the one should be allowed to be the so-called victim it would always get twisted and he was no longer allowed to cry or let it out. That was probably why he was so cold towards people, he'd lost his sympathetic streak... he'd usually be the best at sympathising with people but once he began to think no one cared about him, he realised he wouldn't get the same treatment in return. That's one of the reasons why he'd broken down... Dark had tried to convince him otherwise but Anti was still a mess. He just didn't want things to go back to the way they were before when no one told him how they felt... he hated people not telling him things and he has a reason for that... his parents had kept it from him when his granda was sick and they kept it from him when they knew he was going to die... it was meant to decrease his pain but instead it only increased it.

The moonlight though caused him to forget all this even if it was only for a short time and caused him to feel grateful that he was still alive to witness it. He often joked about his will to live and not knowing it but often he did wonder if he was telling the truth within these jokes but in these moments he realised what they were; he needed to stay alive for those who he'd lost, they could no longer witness such beauty so he would do it for them and his friends and family too because he knew too well how much it hurt to lose someone you care about. The moonlight calmed him.

Anti was quite prone to going on walks when he was upset or angry. He was fond of a storm-off because he knew he'd say something he didn't mean or he'd regret. That happened quite a lot, that he would storm-off, he sometimes liked time to himself as he allowed him to clear his head and think or boil in anger for a bit then calm himself down. That had happened earlier in the day too, before he'd broken down, Dark had come over and, for no reason Anti could fathom, went, "You seemed happier before I came over." "What do you mean by that?" "You were laughing and having a good time before I came over." That tipped Anti over the edge, "I'm not dealing with this..." He muttered and grabbed his phone walking off. He went around the halls to decide if he wanted a drink or not but his ultimate decision was 'no' mostly because he hadn't brought his card to buy the drink. He hung up the social corridor by himself for a few minutes to take a few deep breaths and decide if he wanted to head back yet or not. He realised it was childish to storm off but that had pissed him off mostly because he didn't see any reason as to why it had been said when it wasn't actually the truth at all... Anti and his friends had been sat in silence because his other two friends were playing Jacksmith. He closed his eyes counted to ten and headed back up. 

Anti thought to himself in the moonlight and his body felt lighter as he swung the chipper on his arm and he felt at peace. He was nearing his house now and that meant he had to head in to eat but he felt happier now. He'd needed this quiet thinking time, that's what he'd realised. He knew that Dark or his friends were just a phone call away if he needed them and he would be alright.

Yeah, he would be alright.