Hamilton Prompts || Requests Closed

Hurt [Jeffmads]

Thomas curled around himself, trying desperately to muffle his sobs. His body shook, hands clasped over his mouth trembling. Tears streamed down his face and he couldn't help but mentally laugh at what an image he must be.

The proud Thomas Jefferson, curled up on his bed sobbing like a child.

He froze when he felt his lover shift beside him in bed. Did Thomas wake him? God he hoped not. James had had such a tough day today, his sickness and anxiety hitting him so hard it had been difficult for him to sleep.

Why did Thomas' depression have to come today? All he wants is to grant his lover some well-deserved rest, and yet his mind might ruin it! Thomas didn't think he'd be able to handle the guilt.

A soft snort from James startled Thomas and he held his breath. He only relaxed once James let out a quiet snore, snuggling further into the blankets.

The fear of waking James became too much, and, as quietly as possible, Thomas crept out of bed, tears still streaming down his face.

He stumbled blindly through the dark, thankfully not knocking anything over. Once he made it to the door, he opened it and headed to the bathroom.

He shut the bathroom door and sank down against it. He curled his knees up and out his head down. He clung to his biceps, his nails digging into the soft flesh.

"What's wrong with me?" He sobbed. He gnawed on his lip, drawing blood. His arm began to ache, but he didn't move his hands away.

He froze when there was a soft knock on the door.

"Thomas?" James. Why was he up?

"I'm fine." Thomas said quietly. "Go back to sleep."

He could practically see James frowning behind the door.

"I will once you come back to bed." James responded.

Thomas wiped a few tears, only then noticing the little marks he'd left on his arm and the taste of blood on his lips.

"Shit..." He mumbled. He stood up, leaning heavily on the counter of the sink. He flicked the light on and looked at himself in the mirror. He was a wreck. His mouth was bloody, his eyes red and puffy from crying and angry red marks decorated his skin.

"Dammit." He said, wiping more tears away. There was no way James wouldn't notice. He sighed, shaking his head.

"I'll join you in a minute." He said quietly. James was silent for a moment.

"Alright." He finally said.

Thomas turned the sink on once he heard James' retreating footsteps. He splashed some water on his face and cleaned off his lip.

He sighed again, turned the sink off and headed back to bed. He frowned when he saw that James had the light on.

"Thomas." James said once he entered the room. Thomas looked away, hoping to hide his face. God, he was a horrible boyfriend. Tears welled up and he started to bit his lip again. He heard James sigh softly and the next thing he knew, strong arms were wrapped around his waist.

"Thomas... You should've woken me." He said, squeezing Thomas gently.

A sob escaped Thomas' lips before he could stop it. "I-I didn't want to w-wake you." He stammered, hiding his face in James' neck.

James whispered gentle words and led him to their bed.

"Thomas," James said once they were cuddled together under the blankets. "You should never be afraid to tell me when you're upset."

"But you had such a b-bad day..." Thomas said, sniffling quietly. "And you'd just gotten to sleep..."

"I don't care." James said gently. "I love you and I'll always be here for you."