To Wait or To Forget
""If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then I will either wait for him or forget him.
Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering." -Paulo Coelho, By The River of Piedra I Sat Down and Wept
This morning, I got an answer and that is to forget not wait. I don't want to forget all our memories. I don't want to forget the feeling I have for him. I don't want to forget him. Years we built ended in just a few minutes with words he won't take back. I begged him to stay. I told myself I will never do it again because it just made me feel so low about myself but earlier, I still did because I do love him and I really wanted him to stay. I still did but he was decided. This time, he wanted just 'him' not 'us'
I don't know if he would be able to read this but just in case, I want to tell you I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry for bringing the worst in you. I'm sorry for making you feel sad. I'm sorry for hindering your growth. I'm sorry I let you saw the worst in me. I'm sorry for the times I made you feel unloved. I'm sorry for being a pain in your ass. I'm sorry for stopping you from leaving even if I knew it's for your own good.
You're in your pursuit of happiness now and I'll be definitely happy when you find it because I love you and you deserve to be happy. When we love, we want the person we love to be happy even if what it takes is to let them go.
I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for. I hope you'll feel complete. I hope you find happiness and peace. I hope you'll love yourself because swear, everything was worth it when I started to love you and there are countless reasons to love about you only if you look closer.
I will not wait for you. I will not forget you. I will live in the moment and let God write my story or if in His will, our story.
Thank you for everything. I love you. Always."
DB
2012
Institute of Accounts, Business, and Finance (IABF)
FEU Manila
