Memories
"When me and my friend dropped by at the school of her brother to fetch him, I saw a kuya, more like taga-FEU siya. Well, based on his uniform and ID lanyard. I'm not from FEU. My attention was caught by his unruly hair and he's also have the good looks. So there, I saw him on the waiting area and he's like searching somebody and then when he saw that somebody, he went near a little girl sitting on the couch. And there, I overheard their conversation kasi malapit lang naman ako sa kanila waiting for my friend and her brother.
Verbatim
Kuya: Nandyan ka lang pala, bunsoy. Tara na! *taps the head of his sister*
Little girl: Wait kuya, dito muna ako.
Kuya: Ha? Bakit? Ayaw mo pa umuwe?
Little girl: Pinapabantayan po kasi ng mga besties ko yung bags nila kasi bumili sila ng ice candy dun. *points at the canteen area*
Kuya: Tara na, hayaan mo na.
Little girl: But kuya, baka hindi na nila ako gustong maging friends kapag iniwan ko mga bags nila.
Napailing na lang si kuya.
At that time, I just find myself smiling sadly. All the memories from the past, came back. It's like I find myself old self from that little girl. Way back elem, I used to be good girl that even though it hurts me to do the request of my friends, I still can't say no. Why? Because, if I do, probably they're not going to be friends with me. I used to write them the notes that supposedly they should be the one writing on their notebooks. If there were assignments given by our teacher, they used to copy my answer but not all. Kapag kasama nila ako, laging alalay ang role ko like (Pahawak nito, samahan mo ko, kuha ka ng ganito, ganyan, bili ka ng ganun, ganyan.) Wala e, ganyan talaga ako katanga! But behind my back, they're keep telling negative about me, like baduy basta ganun. Pero baduy naman talaga ako noon. Even though it hurts me to think all about this at that time, I have the urge to question them if why are they doing this, but I still kept my mouth shut. Why? Because of desperation and afraid of losing them. Kahit ganoon pa man, hindi ko sila kayang suwayin kasi ayokong mag-isa.
But there's this time that, I saw one of my friends cheated on the book. Kahit na wrong niya yung answer, chinecheck niya pa rin. I didn't have the guts to tell this on my teacher so I let that incident pass. Pero, there's a time na may ibang nakakita sa ginagawa ng friend ko, sinumbong siya ng kaklase ko sa teacher namin and there nagsalita na rin ako. Because that was the right thing to do. So ayun, the teacher confronted us, yung friends ko, yung nagsumbong at ako. Umiyak yung nagcheat na friend ko noon. My teacher never told my friends if who's the one na nagsumbong. Pero kahit hindi sabihin ng teacher, alam ng mga friends ko na ako yung isang nagsumbong. Pag-uwi namin, hindi na ako pinapansin ng friends ko. They even ditched me pero nahabol ko sila sa pilaan ng trike, nakasakay na sila. Sumakay na ako sa trike pero pilit na pinapababa nila ako kasi malayo daw bahay namin. I can't forget those words that they'd uttered. Ang sakit ng mga yun. But, sumakay pa rin ako, umayaw sila hanggang sa umiyak na ako and siguro naawa na rin yung trike driver. Takot kasi akong mag-isa. May trauma ako na ayokong mag-isa, kasi since I was young busy na ang parents ko sa pagtatrabaho na lagi akong naiiwan. Iniwan rin ako ng katangi-tanging bestfriend ko na kumaibigan sa akin at higit sa lahat takot akong makipagkaibigan. I reallty regretted that I cried at that time. I pitied myself for doing that. Napaka-pathetic.
Simula noong mangyari yun, I tried to distant myself from them. My patience has reached its own limit. They took me for granted. Tinuring lang nila akong kaibigan noon kasi I have the brains at hindi ko reklmador sa mga utos nila. Friends with benefits rather. I tried to be independent at nakaya ko naman. All that happened to me, wala akong pinagsabihan. Ayokong sabihin sa magulang ko kasi I'm pretty sure na magagalit sila at busy naman sila lagi. Siguro sa lagay na yan, baka naging rebelde na ako o kaya nabaliw but no, si God lang ang tanging sinabihan ko. Nagtry lang ako na lakasan yung loob ko to be a better person.
Now, I already forgiven those friends of mine that took me for granted. Actually, matagal na kaya lang deep inside me, masakit pa rin habang naalala ko ang mga yun. But hey, tho it still hurts deep inside me, there are these true and real friends that understands and comforts me. So to the people out there whose experiencing those kind of friends, better ditch them. Wag nang magpakatanga. Just believe to God na makakatagpo ka ng friend na totoo at hindi ka i-to-took for granted.
Thank you po sa mga nagtiyang magbasa wink emoticon"
Missterious
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