12/20/2015
Today, I saw you in my dream. You're standing right beside a faucet, wearing a basic shirt and your favorite leggings, looking at the window where the rays of the sun strikes. It was twilight then. I started walking slowly towards you. As always, you don't seem to care. My heart is pounding fast. Very fast. I still don't have the nerves to tell you what I really feel. I'm having goosebumps now, knowing that it is the perfect time for me to tell you how much I love you. Now, I'm only one step away from you. You're still at the same state exactly as before. Even a strand of your hair didn't move. I took a step and now, I'm at your very back. I can already feel your energy. Your aura, oh, your aura makes me feel like I'm in some special place I didn't know. I never felt this way before. This feeling, this strange feeling. I can't even explain how I really feel. All I know is that this feeling, makes me love you more and more. You're only an inch away from me this time. I already know what to say. I've prepared for this for exactly three weeks. I took a deep breath, then slowly opened up my mouth. Nothing came out. I can't even hear my voice. As always, I'm still afraid to tell you the whole truth. Afraid because you've changed. We're not like before. We used to talk for hours, everyday. I miss your good nights. I miss your hugots. I miss your morning texts, you're the one who texts me first everyday. I miss you. I miss the old you. This is me, standing right behind you, afraid that you might reject my eternal love for you. But I felt something inside my body, I don't know why. Then my arms started moving on its own. I can't control it. I can't back it up. Suddenly, my arms stopped moving. I still don't know what happened. I just found my arms wrapped gentle around your waist. Before I can even react by moving away my arms from you, you finally moved, silently. You're holding my hands now. I can feel your palm at the back of my hand. Things happened so quick. All I know is that I don't want this to end. I can't feel your energy this time. Our energies fused with each other making an aura full of love in that room. This is the best feeling, I said to myself. Better than the feeling when you're making love with someone. I put my face at the right side of yours, above your right shoulder. I smiled. Then I looked at you. I looked at your face. Your beautiful face. The face that makes me calm. The face that makes my loneliness go away. Your eyes seem to stare at the very far side of the sky. A slight smile can be seen from your face. But just like before, you're very hard to read. I can't figure out what's on your mind right now. Are you thinking of your next move? Are you even thinking of me? I bowed down, laying my head to rest above your right shoulder. Closed my eyes. Hugging you tighter and tighter every minute. Feeling the smoothness of your skin. Feeling your body touching my body. Feeling your soul touching my soul. Feeling our hearts beat as one. This is the best feeling ever. I'm more than willing to trade all my things just for this not to end, just for this to happen again, just for you, MY. EV. ERY. THING. We stayed at that state for a couple of minutes. Suddenly, my eyelids rolled up. I'm awake now. I'm back to reality again. The reality that you might not love me back. The reality that that dream might not happen again. The reality that we're only just friends. WE'RE ONLY JUST FRIENDS. One thing is for sure. I'll keep my feelings on my own. I'll put a distance between you and me. I'll do everything just to keep myself away from you. And as for you, you will never ever know how much I love you, BRO.
BROhood
2015
Institute of Accounts, Business, and Finance (IABF)
FEU Manila
