An Open Letter to My Depression
"Dear Depression,
Since I was 10 years old, you became my bestfriend. I was once this happy go lucky child and a child who doesn't care about anything, but everything changed when a group of people, who I thought were my closest friends, began to bully me, began to tease me because of how I think, how I act, how I am. When you came into my life I truly understood the words ""Ugly"" ""Strange"" ""Different"" and the phrases ""Not one of us"" ""You don't belong"". When I was 14 I tried what you said, to jump, to cut, to suspend, or to just cry about it. The night I was crying for the 10th consecutive time you told me ""I understand you! I'm the only one who will ever understand"" but then I told you ""Leave me alone! I don't want you anymore!"" you answered me with ""You can't just leave me, I'm a big part of you! I will be here wether you like it or not"". For the past three years I ignored you, I never listened to anything you said, but you only made it worst because you called me ""A worthless ugly piece of crap"" I cried all my heart out, I never had close friends who understood me because you promised me you'll understand! But you never did! You lied to me! You made me feel life I'm the worst person alive! I HATE YOU! But everything changed when I met a few people who accepted me for who I am, who made me laugh, who made me feel happy, and instantly you left, you disappeared faster than a blink of an eye.
Now it's almost been 2 years since I heard any harsh words from you. Even though you're still here and whispering hurtful things to me, even if you desperately want to go back into my life, even if you bargain that you'll understand me even more, I declined, I slowly blocking you from my life. My life with you wasn't the easiest and yes until now the scars you left in my heart still hurt me like it's a fresh wound.
It's 2016 (or almost 2016), and all I've got to say to you, thanks for nothing."
Kuhloy
2013
Institute of Accounts, Business, and Finance (IABF)
FEU Manila
