Scarlett Johansson | One-Shots (1)

⚠️ NR - Hold On Pt. 1

Warning: self-harm, suicide
Hi guys. Before reading this one, I just want to say if anyone's going through anything like this, please know you are not alone. If you need someone, reach out. My messages are always open if needed. I love you.

You are not alone ❤️

Help is at the bottom.
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Callie:
"...and Jane's supposed to..."

I'm jumping in and out of a conversation between a few of my coworkers. Thor and Tony are arguing about who has the better girlfriend, I think. I stopped listening an hour ago. I'm stuck in my head. Again. I'm just blankly staring at nothing in particular.

"...Pepper is the..."

As loud as everyone's voices are, everything is muffled to me. I feel invisible. Even in a room of my friends. Even in the arms of my lover.

Sudden booming laughter filling the room makes me jump. I snap into reality and scan the room of my smiling friends. Natasha's grip on me from behind tightens and her adorable laugh surrounds me.

I zone out again, taking in the things I feel rather than hear this time. I tune in on the feeling of my body against Natasha's. We're sitting on one of the couches together. She's sitting cross-legged and I'm in her lap. I take in the feeling of her strong arms wrapped around my waist, holding me into her.

"...you boys are arguing for nothing..."

I snap back in on Natasha's voice behind me and her hands gently rubbing my stomach.

"...I think you're forgetting who the real MVP is here..."

I sink into Nat's lap, resting my head back on her shoulder and lightly running my nails along her forearm.

"...Callie's been doing..."

As Natasha brags to our friends about all these things I've been doing, a lump in my throat forms. I close my eyes briefly to avoid letting tears escape my eyes.

"...as great as Jane and Pepper are, Callie is just better..."

Natasha kisses the side of my head.

"I love you," she whispers in my ear as she's slowly pulling away.

The lump in my throat forms and I blink a couple of times. This time, my eyes fill with tears that don't fall. I abruptly scramble off of Nat's lap and run out of the room. The second I step foot into Nat and I's room, the tears come streaming down my face. I go into our bathroom, closing the door and sliding my back down it. I cover my mouth so I make as little noise as possible.

I stay in the bathroom, sobbing uncontrollably, for hours. No one even attempts to check on me. So once again, I'm left alone with my thoughts. I can't stop myself from reviewing all of the times my friends have made fun of me or I've embarrassed myself. These thoughts make me feel sick and I cry harder.

Tony Stark: Dinner time!

Wanda Maximoff: Good, I'm starving.

Steve Rogers: What are we having tonight?

Tony Stark: Pasta of course. Only thing I know how to make.

The group chat blows up my phone but I ignore it. I'm not hungry... Even though I've skipped dinner for the past couple of weeks. I finally get out of the bathroom, only to lay in bed. I stare into the darkness above me. I'm tired but it's only 7:00 PM so I can't sleep. Through the silence, I can hear the laughter of all my friends eating dinner together.