⚠️ NR - I'm here.

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Warning: angst
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Callie:
"Are you sure you don't want company?" Wanda asks as I'm leaving the compound.

"Yeah. Thanks though. I'll be fine."

"Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay," I whisper into her tight hug. 10 minutes later, I'm pulling up to one of my least favorite places.

I sit in the car for a bit, just catching my breath. I grip the wrists of my wife's hoodie I'm wearing and allow the first tear of the evening to fall. Finally, I collect myself and make the slow walk down the oh-so-familiar dirt path.

"Hi Nat," I whisper as I'm sitting down in front of her grave. "I know today isn't a special occasion. I just woke up and missed you a little more so here I am." I start to toy with some pieces of dry grass as I talk to her. "I'm running out of your perfume but it feels wrong to buy a new bottle so I don't know what to do about that. Sometimes I still wake up and think you're here. God, I wish you were here..." Suddenly, I get a strong whiff of my wife and I know it's not this hoodie. The tears that have been fighting to escape finally stream down my face.

Natasha:
The image of my wife sitting alone in front of my grave, sobbing uncontrollably, is heartbreaking. I sit down next to her on the ground, wrapping my right arm around her and resting my head on her shoulder. My left hand holds her left hand in her lap, our wedding bands overlapping.

"I miss you so much, Nat," she sobs to me.

"I'm always with you," I tell her, even though she can't hear me.

I always love when she talks to me. As much as I already know everything, because I'm always with her, I like when she talks about her day or what she's been up to. It makes it feel like we're together. When I was alive, she would tell me everything every night, especially if we were apart that day. She would get so enthusiastic and it was the cutest thing in the world. Although, now when she talks about her day, all her passion is gone but I still listen like I used to.

"I finally got myself to train today. It's been a while," she starts slowly after she calms her crying. "I threw a couple of knives but I missed most of the time, got frustrated, and blew up the targets."

"That's okay. I'm sure everyone understands. You've been doing so well," I respond to her during her pause for air.

"Last week, I agreed to start letting Wanda help me with my powers again. She isn't being her normal pushy self. For once, she's letting me do things on my time, which is nice. I think I've been doing okay with learning how to control it." She takes another pause for air.

"You have. I am so proud of you."

"I just wish you were here to see it."

"I'm here. I've been watching since I left. There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not right here with you."

"It's so hard without you. Everything is different. Our room at the compound is untouched, I just don't go there anymore. It's been a while since I touched your side of the bed at the house. The only reason I even dare to clean up your side of the room is I know how much you hate messes. You hate my messes. One of the things I never understood about us. We're so different sometimes but we work so well."

For the first time since I died, the smallest smile tugs on the corner of her lips and she talks about us in the present tense rather than past. I let a smile of my own form and place a kiss on the side of her head.

"I love you so much, Nat. I will always love you."

"I love you, Cal."

Callie:
The sun fell below the horizon a half hour ago so I guess I should head back now. I tiredly stand up but linger in front of my wife's headstone, staring at her name carved into it. "Natalia Alianovna Romanova". I read it over and over again until her name doesn't look real.

-

"Welcome back, Agent Romanova-Atwood," FRIDAY greets me but I ignore her. I go straight to the kitchen to get a glass of water. It feels like all that crying drained me of all fluids in my body.

"Hey there!" I whip around from the sink to Wanda walking in.

"Hey, Wands."

"How'd it go?"

I sigh and take my water and Wanda into the living room. We sit on the couch and my best friend takes me in her arms. "I think I cried out all the water in my body," I start quietly. I want to laugh or show literally any emotion but I just feel numb.

"Talk to me," she calmly instructs while running her fingers through my hair. I love Wanda, she's my absolute best friend here and she's amazing, but her touch makes me think of Nat and suddenly there's a lump in my throat that I have to fight against.

"Um," I squeak. "At her grave, I was talking to her and then all of a sudden, I smell her. Like it wasn't the hoodie of hers I was wearing. Her scent was so strong like she was there with me."

"She is. She's always with us. I know it."

"Thank you Wands. I don't know what I'd do without you." I snuggle into my best friend and we eventually fall asleep together on the living room couch.

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