I suddenly snapped out of my reverie and I realized na our faces were too close. Nagpanic 'ata ako kaya bigla akong napabitaw kay Agnes and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. Agnes just stood there frozen tapos napahawak na lang siya sa batok niya.
"Ang init."sabi ko tapos pilit kong iniwasan yung tingin ni Agnes. Agnes chuckled.
"Oo nga eh. Let me get you water."sabi niya then she went out. I used my hands to fan air sa mukha ko. Gahd that was close.
Napaupo na lang ako sa kama ni Agnes. Ano yun? Anong nangyari? Bakit ganon yung naramdaman ko? Bakit ako biglang kinabahan?
I stared out the window and di ko alam kung bakit but Agnes has long left the room but I feel like I'm still staring at her eyes.
I sat by the bed and somehow feeling ko tumutugtog pa rin yung kanta. That was too close. I would be lying kung sasabihin kong hindi ko gustong halikan si Agnes. But kissing Agnes would make things complicated between us. Malabo na nga yung label naming dalawa, mas guguluhin ko pa ba kung natuloy yung kiss namin kanina? Kasi I don't want that kiss to be just another spur of the moment kind of thing. I want it to happen when we're both ready and when it would actually mean something, not just a kiss because of heightened emotions that we'd both regret afterwards.
I heard Agnes come in and inabutan niya ako ng tubig. Hindi ko alam pero parang nauhaw talaga ako. Agnes was just looking at me and I think she was stopping herself from chuckling. I know she wanted to say something but we both just dismissed whatever thoughts we both had.
Agnes walked over her recorder and she placed another vinyl tapos she sat between myself and the window. And I don't know why but nung napatingin ako sa kanya, I feel like I missed a step. As if I've fallen from a high place and I was so caught off guard hindi ko alam kung anong magiging reaction ko, but I was so stunned of how Agnes looked. The sunlight on her face was emphasizing how beautiful she is.
I think napansin ni Agnes na nakatingin ako sa kanya kasi bigla siyang ngumiti. And when she smiled, I don't know but whenever she does that, I just feel warm and fuzzy and bubbly. Parang there's this energy radiating from within me that I can't explain.
Nararamdaman kong bumibilis yung tibok ng puso ko. Agnes. I can feel it again. I'm falling so fast for Agnes na I can't even control it anymore.
I'm falling fast and I'm not even scared of it. Bravery -- I guess that's what this is about.