Sobrang naging busy sa office kaya sobrang excited din ako sa Elyu trip namin. Ngayon na lang 'ata kami aalis ulit ng band na magkakasama. Busy rin si Agnes and somehow I feel na we haven't been together for a long time. Ilang linggo na rin kasi siyang nasa Fairview to meet with a client sa Bulacan kaya hindi ko alam kung sa Elyu trip ba ako excited o na makita ulit si Agnes.
After ilang oras, nagtext na rin sa 'kin sila Pao na papunta na sila sa condo. Nung malapit na sila, bumaba na rin ako. Pagdating ng van, pinagbuksan ako ni Keifer ng pinto and una kong nakita si Agnes na nakaupo sa likod. She was all smile and I badly wanted to just hug her.
Umupo na ako sa tabi ni Agnes. She was sitting by the window pero tumayo siya at pinaupo ako dun instead. Medyo mahaba yung byahe namin kaya hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog pala ako. Nagising akong nakasandal sa balikat ni Agnes. I tried looking at Agnes and napansin ko na gising siya. She was trying very hard not to move para hindi ako magising. I felt her place her hand on my cheek para hindi mahulog yung ulo ko from her shoulder.
Agnes is a whole lot of things but you can never deny that she is caring. Tama si Karelle. She would never be vulnerable around people she cares about, and yet she couldn't also find it in her to pretend that she doesn't care. I think nakatulog ulit ako kasi nagising akong nasa resort na kami.
Binaba na namin yung mga gamit namin and nilagay sa mga kwarto. Since the resort was quite small, isa lang ang room naming apat nila Jam. There were just two double beds kaya nag-decide na lang sila na kami ni Agnes ang magkatabi. Once we were settled, pumunta na kami sa may dagat.
We tried surfing. Natatawa ako kay Agnes kasi kita mo sa mukha niya na kinakabahan siya pero game naman siya as long as abot pa daw ng mga paa niya yung buhangin.
I cannot count how many times we both fell from the surfboard and how many times we all laughed at how we were all unsuccessful in getting up. Nakakamiss din naman yung mag-enjoy lang. Yung magspend ng time na kami-kami lang din ng band.
Nung malapit na mag-sunset, nag-volunteer na si Andrew to cook for us. Sumunod naman si Keifer sa kanya para tulungan siya with the barbeque kaya umahon na rin kaming lahat. Sila Pao at Migs andun sa isang kubo habang tumutugtog sila. I looked at Agnes and she was doing some counting for them. Nagkukwento lang din si Migs about a drinking game na gusto niyang itry namin mamayang gabi.
Inabutan kami ni Poch ng beers kaya kinuha ko lang yung sa 'kin. I looked at how happy Agnes is. And how much I missed her. How her laugh sounds very different kapag sobrang saya niya against her laugh when she's just trying to annoy you.
I wondered kung anong mangyayari sa 'min ni Agnes. It made me wonder kung ganito pa rin ba kami after everything. If hindi pa rin namin kayang ituloy yung kasal, could I really still stick around? Nagulat ako when we our eyes met, kaya instinctively I just raised my beer bottle and she did the same pero nagtuloy siya sa pagsabay kela Pao.
Somehow bigla rin akong natakot at how fast my feelings for Charlie suddenly just fleeted. Of how one day I just woke up to the realization na for some reason, hindi ko na siya mahal. I got scared na baka ganon din yung maramdaman ko for Agnes. Na baka one day, I just look at her and I don't get to feel anything.
O na baka one day, she looks at me and she realizes na this was all a mistake and that we both wasted our time in this circus of a marriage.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit, but there was this air of loneliness around me. Bakit ganon? Why do I feel like we're both running towards a deadline that is soon coming?
Why does the sun feel like it is setting?
