Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero ramdam kong namumula ako. Hindi naman kasi yun ang ibig kong sabihin. Hindi ko rin mahanap kung anong tamang words na gamitin para sabihing alisin niya yung kamay niya.
"Puro ka kalokohan eh!"sabi ko sa kanya pero hindi ko maalis yung kamay ko dahil hinigpitan niya ng hawak.
"Isa!"sabi ko sa kanya.
"Wifey. Can you please relax?"sabi niya sa 'kin tapos dumerecho lang siya sa paglalakad. "Don't you think that this feels nice?"
Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla akong hindi mapakali. At biglang kumakabog yung dibdib ko. Ano bang nangyayari sa 'kin? Hindi pa naman kami nagkakape pero parang nagpapalpitate na ako. Her hands felt soft pero may kalyo on the fingertips probably from playing. It was cold and a little bit sweaty, pero it was warm enough to keep my hands warm.
To be honest, no one has ever held my hand this way and holding Agnes's hand felt new. Whatever this is that I'm feeling is totally strange for me and I can't even find the right words to explain it. Naglakad-lakad lang kami sa mall na magkahawak yung kamay and I think sinasadya ni Agnes na higpitan yung hawak niya para hindi ako pumasok sa kung saan-saang store. Kahit nga sa escalator, nauna siyang umakyat at nilagay niya yung kamay niya sa likod niya para nakahawak pa rin siya sa 'kin.
"Wait, saan tayo kakain?"sabi ko sa kanya.
"I know a Japanese resto here. Masarap food nila. You do like Japanese di ba?"
"How did you know?"
"Wala kasi everytime we would eat dinner with your parents, usually sa Jap resto or sa usual na Filipino resto."sabi niya. I smiled. Siguro nga observant talaga siya as she would put it.
Pagdating namin sa restaurant, napansin ko na hindi pa rin binibitawan ni Agnes yung kamay ko. Kahit pa nga nung hinila niya yung upuan ko at umupo ako, nag-adjust lang siya para hindi niya mabitawan kamay ko. I guess sa sobrang haba ng nilakad namin at dahil may mga nakwento rin siya habang naglalakad, it must have slipped my mind na magkahawak pa rin pala kami. Nung inabot na sa 'min yung menu, dun lang inalis ni Agnes yung kamay niya.
"Sorry, pasmado kasi ako wifey."sabi niya tapos pinunasan niya yung kamay niya.
Nung inalis niya yung kamay niya, hindi ko alam kung bakit, but suddenly it felt weird. Suddenly not having Agnes's hand in mine felt as if it was strange and as if it was not how things was before. Suddenly her hands were too familiar for me. For some reason, my hands felt as if it just belonged there.
It was as if I've been holding it for a long time already. It was as if my hands fits perfectly in hers. It was as if her hands were mine. And for some strange reason...
I think I'd like to hold on to it a bit more.
