Criminal Minds Imagines 2

one hundred and ninety three: safe haven (part two)

that night, you and reid were sitting in his bedroom talking about the events of the day when reid got a call on his phone. he picked it up and saw that it was morgan, so he excused himself and left the room. you watched as he walked away, leading you to go on your phone for a minute while he was gone. 

your mind was still swirling with the thoughts of the case. the little girl being in the closet. seeing her with a little piece of ducttape over her mouth, even with her asthma. the little details within the fabric of the families. the minute details of the boy's recollection of events. 

you could feel the overwhelming thoughts beginning to enter your mind again- and sure you dealt with cases like this before, but this one was sticking with you for whatever reason. you knew that you were safe right now, but the thoughts were a threat to your peaceful stated mind. 

when reid came back into the room, he could tell you were in distress as he immediately placed his phone on the desk in his bedroom and came over to your side of the bed. he pulled you close to him, keeping you tight in his grasp.

"hey, hey, don't think about it," he said softly. "you cannot keep thinking about it or else it will just continue to intrude your thoughts."

you nodded, letting out a shaky sigh.

"i know, but spence, it's sticking with me unlike any of the other cases," you said to him, leaning back to look at him with tears in your eyes. "and i don't understand why."

he smiled down at you, wiping away the falling tears. 

"you'll be okay," he said back softly, his eyes admiring you. "but you cannot focus on it. it's so hard, i understand, babe. but you need to understand that i am here for you and i am not leaving you."

you nodded, still staring up at him as his thumb gently massaged your cheek while his eyes stayed on yours.

"i'm not leaving you," he repeated softly as you got lost in his eyes. you were trying to stop focusing on the case, and reid knew exactly how to handle your emotions. he understood you, and he understood how affected you could become by a case. 

"morgan just called," he began, seeing you still staring up at him as he continued to run his thumb along your cheek gently. "he said that the girl is okay and will make a full recovery."

you nodded, smiling a little bit afterwards.

"that's so good," you responded. "i'm glad for the family and her."

reid nodded, furrowing his eyebrows a little bit which caused you to start focusing back towards the case. if reid was calm, you were calm. however if something was bothering reid, it caused you anxiety to try and figure out what it was. 

"spence?" you asked, hearing the nerves in your own voice.

he shook his head. "no, no, don't worry, _______. i'm alright, you're okay."

"something is bothering you," you told him, feeling your heartrate speed up a little bit.

he shook his head, still looking down at you.

"it was a passing feeling," he said softly as he gave you a gentle smile. "i'm not going anywhere."

you nodded, still staring up at him. 

"maybe you should get some sleep," he said softly. you nodded, not moving an inch. "i'll be here in the apartment, sweetheart. it'll be okay."

he slowly let go of you as he went over to where his closet was and got the sweatshirt he knew you loved, handing it to you as you looked up at him.

"spence?" you asked once more.

he smiled down at you.

"you aren't alone now," he replied. "i have to call morgan back, and so i didn't want to keep you awake. so now, it's like i'm right next to you until i come back."

"where are you going?" you asked, sitting up.

"just the den area," he responded, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your cheek before giving you another smile. you put on the sweatshirt as he left and you leaned back in his bed. you kept the lamp on, staring at the doorway as you tried not to focus on it too much. 

reid knew what he was doing.

you trusted him.

within a few minutes of laying down, you had sat up again. you couldn't fall asleep when you knew that the thoughts of the little girl would come back to your mind. you didn't want to think about it, but reid was on the phone. and you needed to learn to take care of these emotions.

but reid always wanted to help you.

you decided you couldn't sleep, so you got up and walked out the door and to where you knew reid was. upon entering the room, you noticed him still on the phone as your eyes met his. he nodded, knowing what you wanted as he told morgan he would see him tomorrow and tossed his phone to the couch.

"i'm sorry, spence," you told him as he came over to where you were. "i tried, and i know that i have to learn to handle these emotions but it's so frightening to have the images lingering around my mind."

he shook his head.

"_______, i never ask you to handle these emotions alone because i understand how frustrating it can get when you feel like nobody is listening. but trust me, doll, i'm listening," he said tenderly. 

you closed your eyes. 

"it just hurts to see someone so young in so much pain," you said.

he nodded, brushing a few pieces of hair out of your face.

"it's hard to grasp your mind around something that comes from a nightmare of feelings and horrors, especially when the victim is so young," he explained. you nodded, looking up at him now. 

"and the cousin?" you asked.

"what about him?" reid asked.

"is he going to be okay?" 

reid let out a sigh.

"if he finds someone nearly as beautiful as you, someone that gets him almost as well as you get me, and someone who trusts him closely to how much you trust me, then yes. he'll be alright," he said. "you are a blessing, _______. you keep me grounded, you have faith in anything and everything i do, and you understand me. now it's my turn to keep you protected and calm. i'm here, and i have said this multiple times but i need you to understand it- i am not leaving you."

your eyes met his before you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him close to you. 

"i love you," you admitted, closing your eyes when you felt his thumb gently massaging the small of your back. 

"i love you too, sweetheart. but you need sleep, you are exhausted," he said to you.

you lightly nodded, snuggling your head further into the crook of his neck.

"i love you to death, but i cannot hold you asleep and standing up," reid admitted, laughing a little bit as you let go, grabbing his hand as he lead you back to his bedroom. he let you climb in first before he went and shut off the lights in his apartment.

"i'm back, don't worry," he said as he climbed in next to you. he collected you in his hold as you let out a sigh of comfort.

you were back in the arms of your safe haven. and you needed it more than ever.

and luckily, he understood that.