survival ~ haikyuu zombie au

143 ~ Pressure

He swiftly moved through the halls. He needed space. He couldn't understand how his world was slowly crumpling around him. At first things were fine, he could handle the change the world was bringing. At first he was okay. At first he thought he could survive this world...

But now he didn't know if he wanted to survive the world anymore. He didn't want to become the person he was slowly turning into. He used to recognize the person who stared back at him in the mirror. But now the person staring back was someone who terrified him. A person who just wanted to survive the world like everyone else. A person willing to do anything just to live.

All his life he considered himself the victim. He hated it. He was the person disregarded and stomped over for others to rise. But now he had become the one doing the stomping. How could he ever be okay with that?

He saw a door to an old storage room cracked open and quickly entered the room. It was dimly lit, only a small amount of sunlight able to peek through the window in the corner of the room.

He moved to the corner of the room, collapsing in a crouch. He tried his best to make himself as small as possible, wishing he could disappear completely.

"I don't want to be here anymore..." he whispered out, his voice was laced with desperation.

His life wasn't supposed to be like this. As a kid he used to read fairy tales and though the hero would always have obstacles to face and sometimes made the wrong decision, there was always a promising reward at the end of the road. When the apocalypse first started he believed in that reward. He believed that he would get a happy ending if he could just make it through the obstacles.

But now he was becoming doubtful of that. Perhaps there was no light at the end of the path he was walking. Maybe he was just moving farther and farther into the darkness. At some point he strayed from his path and now he was lost beyond finding, only a mere scrape of the person he once was.

"I hate me" he mumbled out in a cry, his lip quivering as he tried to calm himself down. But once the words were spoken out loud he realized just how true they were. As a kid and teenager he always believed that he was the good guy, he always tried to do everything right. but now he had to face the hard truth that he was no longer the good guy. The worst part was that he was the villain even in his own story.

He had become just another monster, and now he hated himself more than the walking monsters littering the world.

Now he was finally alone, he could stop putting on an act. He simply covered his head with his arms attempting to make himself as small as possible. In this position he allowed himself to cry. When did he become one of the monsters? He never meant for this to happen... but now there was no going back. He would never be the same person because his hands were forever stained red.

"This was never supposed to happen" he mumbled to himself in a cry. "I didn't mean for Kageyama to die... It wasn't supposed to happen like that" he cried out a little louder. His words had weight to them, something he should never say out loud. But he couldn't stop himself from muttering them when he was alone. His words served only one purpose... to remind himself that he didn't deserve to reach that happy ending, he wasn't the hero.

He glanced up from his safe position trying to get a small glimpse of the light from the window. Much like the light at the end of his path, the light in the room was slowly disappearing. The second his eyes moved up he locked eyes with a boy standing there, mouth hanging open slightly and eyes wide to the point where it looked painful.

"Sorry, I was just looking for Aone... He's not in here though... I should um, I should really go..." the boy stuttered on his words taking a cautious step backwards refusing to turn his back to the crouching boy.

"Wait - no you can't go. You can't go" the boy said immediately standing, shaking his head in a panic.

The intruders eyes widened as he took another step away from the boy. He didn't know if he should be running or shouting or trying to reason with the boy. But the fear the that gripped his entire being stopped him from fleeing. "Look I didn't hear anything really, I promise" he said quickly.

The boy continued shaking his head while his entire body was shaking. "No. You know. You can't know" he mumbled moving closer to the boy.

"Wait a minute let's just talk about this" the other boy said quickly fear now gripping his body. He knew this boy, there was no way he could actually hurt someone. This boy was nice and friendly. But then why did he feel so afraid?

"I'm sorry" the boy said as he picked up the lamp that sat on the a small table beside where he was standing. Tears were now streaming down the boys face. "I'm sorry" he mumbled again, this time sobbing as he took another step towards the intruder.

Red flags were now waving clear in the boys head, he had to get away. There was no reasoning, not when the boy was already this far gone. He turned to run but he only took a step before the lamp came crashing down into his skull. Black patches now spotted his vision as he fell, he was still desperate to get away though. Desperate to live. But even as he attempted to crawl away he knew it was pointless. Then after the second hit to his head... everything went black.

"I'm sorry... You were going to tell them... You can't tell them... I don't want them to know I'm a monster" the boy muttered as he stared down at the other boy who was now laying in a pool of his own blood.

Suddenly the dots seemed to connect for the boy as he slowly looked at the object in his hand with bits of blood stained to it. "What have I done? I - I didn't mean to" he said in a panic as the realization sunk in.