survival ~ haikyuu zombie au

148 ~ Sorry

Tsukishima was startled by the boys sudden behavior but he still managed to keep a calm demeanor. "Alright Tadashi let's talk" he said.

Tadashis eyes widened. "You have to promise to help me though Tsuki. I really need help, things just keep getting worse" Tadashi said in a fast pace tone as he stopped in his tracks to watch his best friend.

"Okay Tadashi. I will help you. Let's just talk, okay?" Tsukishima responded doing his best to not let the worry and concern be noticeable in his voice.

Tadashi nodded the panic on his face still evident. "Well at first I just wanted to live. That was all. It was harmless, I just wanted to survive this world that was all" he tried to explain.

Tsukishima nodded slowly, he had no idea what Tadashi was talking about. He couldn't even begin to make sense of his words yet. But by the way the boy had been acting lately he had obviously done something he shouldn't have, Tsukishima just had no idea what that something was or how serious it was.

"I just... I heard you say that I couldn't ever actually survive this world... you said it to Kimi" Tadashi said to justify whatever action he had done.

Tsukishima immediately felt guilty. In a moment of self doubt and weakness he had told Kimi that he didn't want to stay too attached to Tadashi because he knew that the boy wouldn't survive the new world. It was months ago and he never intended for Tadashi to hear. He couldn't believe that his words had been weighing down on Tadashi and slowly eating away at the boy along with everything else wrong with the world slowly crushing his best friend. He should have done more to help Tadashi before this point.

"I'm sorry Tadashi, I really didn't mean that. You are strong" Tsukishima said in an attempt to comfort the boy. He wasn't lying though, he hadn't meant his words earlier. Tadashi was going to survive, they both would together, he believed that. They had been together since the start and they were going to make it to the finish line together.

Tadashi just shook his head quickly. "I can't live Tsuki. I don't deserve to anymore" he said his eyes filling with tears that hadn't yet spilled out.

"Tadashi calm down, anything you've done can be fixed. Just tell me so I can help you" Tsukishima responded.

"Not this Tsuki. It can't be fixed. I only wanted to survive. I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt. I really didn't mean for that to happen" Tadashi said in a panic.

Tsukishima suddenly became very aware of Tadashis words.

"Tadashi let's sit down and talk about this. What happened?" Tsukishima said in a concerned voice. This was entirely out of the ordinary for his friend. Sure Tadashi had been struggling with their situation having various panic attacks, but the boy had never hurt anyone. It was hard for Tsukishima to even believe that as a possibility.

Tadashi shook his head. "I don't want to sit down. I just want to feel okay again. I want to be happy again. Tsuki can you make me feel okay again?" Tadashi questioned in a panic. 

Tsukishima nodded slowly. "You are going to be okay Tadashi. Just tell me what you did" he responded. He wanted to help his friend but couldn't unless he knew the whole story.

"Well I - I just wanted to survive Tsuki. You said I couldn't and there was a war coming. I - I heard Conny talk about Inarizaki. I just didn't want to be another casualty in the war Tsuki" Tadashi began to explain. Tsukishima slowly nodded urging the boy to keep talking. Tsukishima was taking in every bit of information, doing his best to process the whole thing.

Tadashis eyes widened again for a minute at the thought of his next words before continuing. "I found this walkie talkie. I originally thought it was ours... but it wasn't. It was someone else's. I was going to bring it to Kimi when a boy started talking..." Tadashi continued to explain. Tsukishima got a really bad feeling about the walkie talkie although he had no idea who the original owner of it was.