Hermitcraft One-Shots

Pretending

Requested by Tellmeicantdothis (1/22)

Ship: Grian/Zedaph

Warnings: Briefly mentioned cutting, blood, depression, panic attack kinda, alcohol, attempted suicide

Summary: Grian goes into a depression spike and isolates himself from the hermits. Zedaph is the first to notice the small hermits strange behaviour.

(PLEASE READ THE PN NOTE AT THE END.)

~~~~~~

The song played in the background, a half empty bottle of vodka beside his bed as he let his wrists bleed. The deep wounds almost nonstop bleeding as his wrists were extended outwards from him. His breathing grew weaker and more shallow as time went on.

~!!!~

"Tango, Impulse... Have you guys seen Grian?" Zedaph asked as the three walked in through the portal to Zed's base, "I've not seen him in a while."

"No clue, but I'm worried too." Impulse replied, "He does struggle with depression a lot."

"I think we should go find him." Tango added, "Any clue where he'd be?"

"Well, there's only two places he could be. His mansion and his hobbit hole." Impulse said, "Let's go."

The three decided to go to Grian's mansion first. As they walked through the portal, they saw nothing out of the ordinary.. Yet.

The farther they got through, the more mess the place got.

"Oh my gosh." Zedaph gasped, "Impulse get a first aid kit. Now."

Zed and Tango both ran to Grian's side. Tango put his fingers under Grian's chin to feel his pulse.

"It's weak, but he's got a pulse. Let's get this taken care of, quickly." Tango said looking at Zedaph, "Get towels."

He nodded and ran over to grab towels.

Tango looked to the side, "Guys! He's been drinking! There's a half empty bottle of vodka here."

Impulse handed him a first aid kit, "Impulse, call Xisuma, get him here now."

Another nod, and Impulse immediately sent the message while Tango tended to the deeper wounds.

"I don't know what happened, but this must have been bad. These are all really deep."

But Tango was efficient, he quickly stitched up the deepest of the wounds and wrapped them up while Zedaph took the towels and wetted one of them and started dabbing it on Grian's head.

"Come on Grian... Wake up.." Zedaph mumbled, "I need you to wake up and talk to us."

Xisuma arrived a few moments later. The atmosphere as heavy as an anvil. 

"Xisuma, we don't know what happened. We found him like this and all his wounds are deep."

"Just relax, when I got your text, I brought a blood bag as well." Xisuma explained then started a blood transfusion, "He'll be okay."

The four hermits stayed with Grian until he woke up an hour later.

"Ow.."

"Grian!" Zedaph shouted, he was the first to look at him, "Grian, what were you thinking? You could have died!"

Grian looked away from him.

That was kinda the point...

"Grian, why didn't you call me? Why didn't you text me? Or Tango? Or Impulse? We could have helped you instead of you going straight to cutting."

"Zedaph, I..." Grian started but he couldn't think of a reason or remember why he did this again, "I.. I don't remember why I started doing this again.."

"I know it's painful. I know depression hurts. I know emotions hurt. But you need to come to us instead of doing this."

"Zed.. I'm.. I'm sorry.."

Zedaph hugged the smaller hermit, "Don't ever do this again... Please."

Just don't leave me... Please...

That was all Grian could think before the other three hermits in the room started hugging him.

Now, this actually hurt my heart to write, this is coming from a personal experience. As someone who's been on the brink before, multiple times, it's never the answer.

I've always tried to find an escape and distract myself away from any triggers that I'm aware of.

I know a few of my biggest triggers. A metronome being one of them. So me being a musician that kinda defeats the purpose of being in time, but I work my way around it by listening to recordings. Ticking things no matter what they are, if I can hear them it starts to make me panic.

Life is stressful. Life is hard. Depression is not a joke. Mental health is not a joke. Whenever you are in a bad place, you need to make sure you're taking care of yourself first and taking away anything that could trigger a panic or depression attack.

If you ever feel like you never have anyone to talk to, hit me up in my inboxes. All of them are open. Discord, Wattpad, Twitter, Instagram, even if it's a vent, or just a bunch of swears. I don't care, just talk it out instead of going straight to disaster.

Mental health is the most difficult thing to deal with as human beings.

Just take care of yourselves, stay safe.

Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255

<3 PN